


I really hope it wasn't (just an experiment)

by JustabookjunkieIneednohelp



Category: The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alec is too caring, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Background Clary Fray/Jace Wayland, Bottom Alec, Denial of Feelings, Dirty Dancing, Domestic Fluff, Drunk Alec Acting Adorable, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Jealousy, M/M, Protective Jace Wayland, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexual Tension, Shameless Smut, jerking off
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-31
Updated: 2017-10-02
Packaged: 2018-11-07 07:46:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 28,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11054490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustabookjunkieIneednohelp/pseuds/JustabookjunkieIneednohelp
Summary: Alec and Magnus were boyfriends at the age of 16, best friends even before that, but that was before Magnus left to pursue a fashion and design scholarship. Now he's back and in Alec's college, in his class and the attraction between them is undeniable. Will they be okay with this nameless something?Or:Magnus and Alec hook up and it takes Alec dating someone other than Magnus, for them to acknowledge what they have and what they are missing.[ Magnus may, or may not punch someone for Alec.Spoiler: He does, he totally does, he destroys the guy, absolute KO.]*WELCOME TO CRITICISM*ON HAITUS





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, 
> 
> Edit: I changed my mind, I can't let go. Sorry, but the end has been postponed. *cue eye rolls from audience* I apologise for my faltering. Next chapter up soon. =)

Alec sat in a Math class on a Friday morning, trying to look like he was paying attention. It was a Calculus || class, one he was proud to have gotten into, so it wasn't that he was bored, he just knew this particular material. Fine, he may be slightly bored, seeing as he'd had free time last night and decided to work ahead. So sue him, he was an inexorable nerd who genuinely enjoyed the absorption of knowledge. Although, it wasn't like he had the time to absorb said knowledge, in between work and managing living expenses and keeping Izzy and Jace out of trouble and spending time with Max. Ever since Alec had been kicked out of the house he had spent his childhood in, spent his time growing, crafting, building himself up to be the type of person he would not regret to see in the mirror, free time had become the distant call of a bird that had long since succumbed to extinction. Alec always had to be prepared for potential disasters, because being the oldest Lightwood sibling was no easy feat. Perhaps the obsessive need to be perpetually prepared had something to do with the "extenuating circumstances" of his swift departure from the Lightwood household, but regardless of origin the compulsion to plan had now taken up permenant residence in Alec's character. Usually he didn't mind it too much,albeit once in a while, he wished he didn't have one worry, or another perpetually lurking in the crevices of his mind.

Letting out a sigh, he tilted his face towards the window, allowing the dappled sunlight dance on his lashes. It gave the world a calming crimson hue. Alec loosened his shoulders allowing his mind to rest, slightly shivering in pleasure, as the breeze kissed his skin, bringing in the scent of fresh grass, balmy woods and a musk that was unique to summer.

Distantly, he heard the pause in Mr Beamers lecture and the murmur of conversation. Really, he knew he should open his eyes before he got caught shirking his obligation towards his intellectual pursuits, but the sun coaxed him to stay. Promising him wonders and the means of temporary escape. It was only due to the sun Alec continued to linger. It had everything to do with the G2V type star and nothing to do with Alec's choice in the matter. None at all.

"... Magnus Bane, I recognise a few friendly faces and would love to get even friendlier with some" purred a silky voice.

Alec's eyes snapped open, fixating on the gorgeous man at the front of the class, but his brain kept repeating the same phrase "Magnus Bane". Alec continued to stare - none too subtly. Magnus had been Alec's boyfriend once upon a time and his best friend even before that. Of course that had been before he left for a fashion and design scholarship, though, now here he was, on the metaphorical doorstep of Alec's house, in Alec's college. However, thinking of the situation logically, Alec relented Magnus probably had had little choice in the matter. Westfall Cliff only had one college. Magnus and Alec has been estranged for a lengthy period of time and his inexplicable,unforseen presence shook Alec, perhaps more than it should have. He thought of the years of silence that lay littered on the classroom floor between them, but perhaps it was only him who felt the shadow of their jagged edges. Alec had no idea where they stood now, if they even stood anywhere, or if Magnus would continue to spill the powdered glass that had become the silence, which encompassed their non - friendship in the preceding years at Alec's feet Even if Magnus couldn't have been standing more than a few metres away, Alec felt the distant to be insurmountable.

Being the self destructive imbecile he was, Alec finally allowed himself to really observe Magnus. Everything Magnus wore screamed do me. From his figure hugging, black jeans, to his silky sapphire button up, that was only buttoned up from the forth button down, revealing a tantalising triangle of toned, caramel chest and completely defeating the purpose of a button up. His lids were outlined with kohl, making amber eyes burn with an adroit intensity. Respectively, he supported blue highlights, contrasting his ebony hair. Even his silver studs and numerous rings became constituent to his allure: sleek and elegant. The twine bracelets curling around Magnus's wrists sparked interest in the knowledge enthralled sect of Alec's brain. They were embedded with various stones: amethyst, sapphire, fire opal and Alec couldn't place the name of most, let alone distinguish if they were real. The rocks should have stood incongruous, but instead radiated an exotic, new age feel.

Magnus himself had grown well: tall frame and defined muscle. Both arranged in a confident and loose manner, leading to the highlighting of certain slopes and ridges - much to the benefaction of his current observer. Alec's eyes jerked up, as he relinquished he had been ogling at Magnus longer than strictly polite. Only to face with none other than an amusedly smirking Magnus. Even his lips looked full and soft, perfect for biting. He was staring again. Not meeting Magnus's eyes, Alec quickly shifted his gaze away. Meanwhile, Mr. Beamer had reached the last stop in his welcoming speech and ushered Magnys to inhibit a vacant seat.

Praying Magnus didn't notice the heat crawling up his neck, Alec began burning holes in his notebook, trying and failing to maintain an air of nonchalance. Especially, as he felt a certain someone drop down in the seat next to him. Especially, as agonising minutes passed and said anthropoid leaned closer, breathing in Alec's ear.

"Hey."Magnus whispered chasing a shiver down Alec's spine, exuberance present in his tenor.

Swallowing his surprise, Alec lifted his head, "Um, hi." he answered stiffly, running through scenarios of possible pitfalls, which would inevitably be caused due to Magnus's close proximity. Alec wasn't being standoffish, he was only trying to compensate for the impending destruction he was about to cause, after all how does one speak to a friend who had ignored your calls many months prior? There really should be a textbook for social communication, with formulas and contingency plans in place, in case of a dire need to "abort mission", such as Alec's brain was screaming now. There was the multiple presence of flashing red lights and a blaring siren too.>

Magnus on the other hand was amused, if not calm, ignorant of the evacuation of all common sense currently taking place in Alec's cortex. Mindlessly, all Alec could concern himself with was that Magnus was even more breathtaking up close, Alec could see each individual lash framing his eyes. They were exceeding average length. Leaning an elbow against Alec's chair, his eyes twinkled with easy laughter, this close Alec could smell him: sandalwood and citrus.

"Is this seat taken?" he asked.

Snapping out of his daze, Alec started. Jesus this was mortifying.

"Aren't you supposed to clarify that before sitting down?" he replied raising an eyebrow in question, immensely grateful to whichever divine source of matter held such turbulences in account, that his voice came out steady.

"So he speaks. I assumed staring was the epitome if your communicative devices," Magnus countered not missing a beat "Which was thoroughly disappointing seeing as you didn't run up and bestow me in sweet nothings. You see, Alexander, I was hoping we could get to know each other as well as before.".

Alec's heartbeat tripled, intending to follow the example if his common sense. What did that mean? He wanted to be friends again? More than friends? It wasn't like Alec to still carry a torch, he was an adult, nineteen years of age. But Alec's occipital lobe was in immaculate function, gracing Alec with the ability to appreciate the aesthetic appeal of Magnus Bane. Sweeping up the web of queries Alec had managed to weave in the duration of these miniscule seconds, he twisted his intangible broom and flung it out of the trapdoors of his mind. If that's how Magnus wanted to play, Alec would gladly follow the rules.

Lowering his voice, Alec wet his lips, "Yeah? Can't wait," his eyes captured Magnus's. Alec observed as they darkened, flicking to his lips and back "To get to know each other, that is.".

Magnus's eyes flared with challenge and surprise, but as his lips parted and images of Magnus in another setting with a similar expression assaulted Alec's mind, Mr Beamers interrupted. Alec couldn't tell if he was disappointed.

" Mr. Lightwood, Mr. Bane, is the conversation you're having more important than you're ticket to a successful future? " queried Mr. Beamer, eyebrows furrowed in annoyance. 

Alec straightened hastily. " No Sir, we apologize, it won't happen again." he reassured, letting nothing but the polished exterior of a model student, eager to please his superior shine through. Alec wouldn't let his pristine reputation be tarnished, thus intending to compensate for his slip up, Alec tuned back into the lesson, in spite of it's tedious content. Although, Alec didn't miss the scarcely disguised uttering of Magnus: " Ticket to a successful future." he muttered, voice laced with a mocking edge. Hiding the smile threatening to encapsulate his features, Alec faced the front of the class, enclining against his chair. And if through unadulterated coincidence, Magnus's arm happened to be draped around it, he didn't notice. Much.

\-------------------------------+

The rest of the morning proceeded without incident and by lunch Alec was starving. He quickly shuffled through the line, grabbing his food and made his way to the table he usually sat at. Unsurprisingly, Magnus was already there. Sitting with Izzy on his right and Clary on his left, her unruly ginger hair obscuring a scowling Jace from Magnus's view. Chuckling to himself Alec made his way to sit opposite them, stowing himself next to a frantic Simon, who was busy explaining the difference between a pure bred vulcun and a half vulcun to a very irritated looking Raphael. Jace was probably antagonised by the admiring glances Clary kept showering Magnus with, he was hopeless. Jace was not even keeping up the illusion that the obvious thunder rumbling across his face was the cause of an unrelated incident. Hostility pooled in his every gesture, dripping steadily down in the form of lexis, which had been thoroughly submerged in an ocean rotting citrus. As he sat down, Alec got no more then vague acknowledgements from the group, which he deemed acceptable, as even he had been ensnared in the effervescence that was Magnus Bane. Even Raphael and Simon kept their attention on him, despite professing to be intrigued in the contents of another discussion. It was just as well, Alec had a unit test in three days, any extra time for preparation was welcome.

He had just gotten into the rhythm of spooning his food without peeling his gaze off the textbook, while also managing not to upturn his only source of sustenance on the floor, when he realised the clamoring chatter at his table had fallen away. Looking up, Alec realised he had come under the laser focus of six pairs of eyes.

" Sorry, I didn't catch that." he muttered absently, reluctantly wrenching his stare from the equations that made up standard deviation. 

Jace was the one to speak: "Simon asked if Magnus and you were a thing", voice deadpanned, unimpressed. Frowning, Alec waded through the arithmetics buoyant in his senses. Surely Magnus could answer that.

Mirroring Jace, Alec furrowed his eyebrows, "Yeah, when were 15. It went on for almost a year. Why?" he asked unimpressed at the extent of prying currently taking place. 

"Just curious," Simon quipped "Though that is a long time. Were you guys serious?".

Before Alec could reply to the inquisition, Magnus smoothly cut in, "No, just experimenting." he intoned with a wave of his hand. "We were 15, how serious could we have been?" he remarked coolly. 

At his words Alec's frown deepened. Magnus's words struck a cord of pain in his chest. It shouldn't have hurt, their relationship was over years ago, but Magnus's vague dismissal of their proximity, was too close to his parents reaction when he had finally come out. It held the same cold, callousness his mother had held, when she declared Alec's confession to be a "fleeting phase, unbecoming, however still a phase". Granted they had been young, but Alec had never been confused about what he yearned for, petrified of his parents wrath, terror stricken at the antagonisation he was to endure at the prospect of living unashamed of who he was. Alec had been each one of those things, albeit indecision was never one.

"9 months is a long time for experimenting." seethed Jace slashing down Alec's tumultuous thoughts, arms folded, posture tense. He looked ready to jump out of his seat.

The words caused Magnus's eyebrows to shoot up, "How would you know?" he asked, voice carrying a mixture of confusion and suspicion. What exactly Magnus was suspicious about, Alec had little clue. 

"I'm Alec's best friend, why wouldn't I know?" he said " Or, have you forgotten how friendships work?". Alluding to the numerous unanswered texts Alec had left in the wake of Magnus's departure. 

Jace was now trembling slightly, with barely contained rage, no doubt remembering how he had found Alec shivering in the alley - hungry and alone.

"Oh?" Magnus remarked unfazed "Is that right?" an edge in his voice despite the taunting smirk he had plastered there. 

Taking in Jace's clenched jaw and monochromatic eyes that blazed blatant hostility he saw reflected on Magnus, Alec made to diffuse the situation. He had no need of reliving, or even sharing that part of his life with anyone. All the people encompassing the table, were ones he he trusted, but Alec couldn't see the need to offer his menial sob story on an undignified platter. He was in no mood to open that can of worms, especially as Izzy glanced at Alec, face set in worry. As if Alec would burst into tears right this second, crying about his daddy issues.

Rolling his eyes, he flicked a fry at Jace, " Chill out, no need to go alpha male. Clary will still like you even if you're not the last man pissing." Dissimulating the real reason for Jace's anger. Fooling no one, but managing to successfully cut through the tense atmosphere, Alec earned himself various noises of disgust.

Satisfied Alec's eyes drifted back to Magnus. Although Magnus was far from subdued, expression still containing a shadow of a taunt, daring Jace to lead the conversation back to the impending car crash it was to be. The glare Alec through in his direction resulted in nothing, but an innocent shrug. Shaking his head Alec decided to resumed his revision, unsuccessfully. Magnus's words kept ricocheting in his brain. Did Magnus mean what he said? Had that been nothing more than an experiment? Had Alec misread the situation for nine months? It certainly hadn't been an experiment for Alec, it was by no means the first relationship he had had. However, it had been the only one that had induced annoyance in him, at his own foolishness. Back then Alec had been willing to risk and perhaps accept his parent's inevitable anger and he had. He had done just that. In hindsight, after this revelation, he still wouldnt have changed his decision, although knowing Magmus saw that small infinity they had carved out of laughter, passion and pain as nothing but an experiment, made Alec feel churlish and childish. Like a fledgling, who had mistaken companionship for love. It did not sit well with Alec's conscious, however Alec decided the incident was of no consequence. It wasn't like it had mattered when he told his parents, or like it mattered now. He was over it, over Magnus, over them. The allure he felt towards Magnus now, was purely physical.


	2. Chapter 2

"Alec, stop being an idiot. Open up, I know you're home.", came Isabel's voice, over the pounding knock. 

" How do you know that?", Alec replied with less vehemence.

"Alec, seriously?", she sighed exasperated.

" It could be a very advanced answer machine.", Alec reasoned with utmost seriousness.

"Alec!", Isabel screeched in fraustration, " I swear to God, I'll - ".

" Fine, fine, I'm coming.", he grumbled. 

Unfolding himself from the floor, he left his scattered textbooks on the coffee table. Still, Alec couldn't comprehend how Izzy found the prospect of such an answer machine unfathomable. Technology had advanced abundantly, it wasn't so far fetched that Alec should own such a device. 

Sighing he swung open the door, "Satisfied?", he questioned.

" Extremely.", chirped Isabel striding for his room, or knowing her, his closet. One that did not contain him any more. Snickering at his own joke, Alec followed Isabel only to be smacked with a pile of clothes in the face. 

"Wear these, we're leaving in half an hour.", she demanded.

" Izzy I can't, I have a test the day after tomorrow. I need to prepare.", Alec placated. Knowing that listening to Izzy only ever led to uncomfortable consequences, she was forever dragging him to torture chambers disguised as social events. They were unbearable, why anyone would decide to abandon privacy and indulge the curiosity of a stranger was beyond his understanding. Alec had an adequate amount of friends, he needed no more. 

"Exactly, day after tomorrow." , she stressed, "Don't even act like you haven't finished going over the material.", she cajoled, hands on hips. She did have point, but Alec was not going to give up so easily. Making his way to the bed, Alec flopped down on his back. 

" So what, Izzy? I still have other assignments and I could be spending the free time picking up extra hours at work. Hell I should take Max out, the kid needs a break from the continuous pressurizing mom and dad put him through. ", he said blowing out a harsh breath. All that he said was true, especially Max, although Alec did feel somewhat guilty using Max as an excuse. It felt like an extremely Marys Lightwood tactic.

Sighing, Izzy say on the edge of his bed, she could hear the steel determination in Alec's voice. " Alec, you need a break too. When was the last time you had any fun - for yourself?", she added cutting Alec off, as he began to open his mouth in objection. "Just because you're the oldest, doesn't mean you're our parent.", she spoke, voice tinged with sorrow, worry and a tinge of annoyance, as if wondering how many times she had to repeat the same sentiment.

Alec knew she was right theoretically, he was by no means their parent, but he also knew if either Izzy, or Max decided to pursue anything other than the family business, their parents would cut off all financial aid. Alec himself had learnt that the hard way, wanting to open a child psychologist firm. He had been working, since the age of sixteen to pay his way there - education included. That wasn't something he was willing to put his siblings through, he wanted to make sure they had a choice and the means to go through with it. So at the age of seventeen, Alec had opened accounts from them both, which he made sure increased each month, eradicating any financial boundaries for the future, even if the numbers inched up at an agonisingly sluggish pace. 

However, Alec also knew Isabel would keep worrying and complaining, if the prominent note if exasperation in her tone was any indication. Seeing as he was in no mood to stand at the receiving end of that hurricane, Alec relented. He would just slip away, when her attention was elsewhere, Isabel had just clarified Alec had to attend, staying at the location had not been mentioned once yhere. Sitting up, he kissed her forehead, " Just this once then. Where are we going?", he asked, but upon seeing Isabel's answering smirk, Alec wondered if what he had agreed to would allow his dignity and temperament to survive the miniscule minutes he intended to stay. "Clubbing.", she grinned, ignoring Alec's groan. " Come on, we're going to be late.".

\-------------------------------+

Striding into Pandemonium, Alec was hit with pulsating music, strobed lights and sweaty bodies. The place assaulted his senses, everything was over the top, though surprisingly, Alec wasn't deterred. It held a dangerous enticement to it, with silhouettes in the dark highlighting a sharp cheekbone, a flash of midriff, a suggestive grin. 

Tonight Alec fit right in, with his fitted moss green, long sleeved shirt that hugged his muscles and brought out the flecks of green in his otherwise hazel eyes. The round neckline sitting just below his pale collar bones. His black, ripped jeans sat low on his hips, tight enough to stick in all the right places. True to his word Alex had made an effort by lining his eyes with kohl and underlining them with green liner, making them pop. And as the group made their way to Simon, Raphael and Magnus, he turned more than a few heads. He was a dark, aloof Adonis and all thoughts of escape plans fled his mind.

Alec's eyes latched on to Magnus, his gaze flitting over him. Magnus wore a thin, violet tank top, that shimmered and slid over his body like liquid night each time he moved, leaving his defined shoulders on display. If Alec had known Magnus would come, he would have declined, no matter what Isabel said. It was one thing to stare at Magnus in class where there were teachers and peers and distinctive boundaries. And quiet another to stare in a club made purely for sexualized interactions. Besides Alec had not forgotten the words Magnus had wielded against him, whilst unknowingly, Alec's wound still throbbed. His black, leather pants looked suffocatingly tight as they stuck to his form and Alec couldn't help but wonder how it would feel to peel them off, slowly. Each factor of Magnus's appearance scraped against Alec's laceration, scraping it raw, severing his nerves until all he felt was a disquieted silence the shape of Magnus's spiked purple hair. The colour of Magnus's superficial glint of his glitter. Alec was nothing more than the tilt of Magnus's eyes, the swipe of daintily applied kohl, the swirl twisting down lower from the corner of his right eye. Dipping and flaring into an intricate pattern that framed his cheekbone. Alec was speckled in the dusted with gold glitter on Magnus's lashes, mirrored in the glimmering tips of the markings, which set his amber eyes aflame. As if a smouldering fire flickered in those irises, as if it was Alec scorching in the depths of their flame. Lips glossed a delicious, sparkling bubblegum. Magnus was the picture of sin, addiction and inexorable self destruction.

Alec finished admiring him and knew his self awareness, self preservation had dissolved into grains of what it had been before. Looking up, he saw Magnus returning the favour, converting into the kinetic energy, which blew away the ashes of who Alec had been outside the confines of this moment. Outside this club, outside of Magnus's unabashed gaze, which flowed from rim of his glass: once, twice. His eyes snagged below Alec's waistband, electrocuting. Any remains of Alec's nerves sizzled and went out with a hiss. Magnus devoured Alec with a lustful gaze.

Sure he was at the brink of combustion, Alec spoke, "Hey. You guys look great.", however for all Alec knew, Simon and Raphael could be wearing spandex suits - his eyes still hadn't left Magnus.

" Oh thanks, I was actually worried I was too plainly dressed, but made it. Huh?", replied Simon pushing up his glasses, blind to the thread that tethered Alec and Magnus to each other. 

Alec hummed distractedly in response, hooking his thumbs through his belt loops, unaware of Izzy's knowing smirk and Jace's deep frown. Magnus's eyes tracked the movement, as he took a deep gulp of his drink, leaning further into the bar.

"You're fine Samuel", Magnus drawled purposefully misnaming Simon, much to the other boy's chagrin. He tore his eyes away from Alec giving Isabel his attention, " You, however darling, outshine them all.", he compliment running a platonic gaze over Isabel's form.  
She had on a grey, plunging neckline dress, that accentuated her curves and hollows, ending mid - thigh. " Even Alec?", she retorted with a teasing grin. She knew with the utmost conviction that the question would label the two men's admiring gazes and bring Magnus on uneven footing.

"Well...", Magnus hesitated, the corner of his mouth curling up.

" Don't worry,I know you don't want to hurt Alec's feelings. I won't make you choose. ", she commented wryly, when Magnus showed no intention of finishing the sentence any time soon. Winking, Isabel spun away, "I'm going to go find some fun.", she called over her shoulder, already disappearing into the crowd.

" Us too.", Jace said turning Clary with an arm around the waist, " Try not to have too much fun, Alec. ", crowed Jace, but the tightened skin around his eyes gave away his reluctance to leave Alec. The two communicated without uttering a word, in the way only those who have grown, bled and found themselves together can. Finally relenting, Jace slipped away. The concern of his sat heavily on Alec's shoulders.

Raphael and Simon had too vanished sometime ago, leaving Magnus and Alec alone. The lack of ability to recall at exactly when they had left, depicted the profundity of Alec's infatuation. 

" Drink?", Magnus asked slipping closer to the bar, therefore Alec.

"Two tequila shots, please.", ordered Alec in lieu of an answer, causing Magnus's brows to shoot up.

"I'm cutting lose.", he shrugged indifferent, before downing the drinks.  
The alcohol burned going down, settling into a pleasurable weight in his stomach and sending a searing buzz through his body. Any sensation of caution, or wariness had truly been purged from Alec. 

" You never used to drink.", commented Magnus casually, nursing his own concoction. He looked curious, at ease with allusion to the inexplicable before. I never used be disowned, weary and alone either thought Alec.

"People change.", he declared instead, looking over at Magnus with a sly grin. Alec was done with caution. This would surely end in explosions, but as long as Alec was the only casualty, he couldn't bring himself to care. Sobering, he added, " Just once in a while. I seem to have grown out of my righteous aversion to alcohol.". It was an honest answer, perhaps the only truly honest thing he had said.

Chuckling, Magnus finished his own drink. He held out a hand with a crooked smile, "Let's go dance.", he said. No preamble, no: let's talk of those years of solitude. Magnus just offered an outstretched palm across the chasm that was them.

It was the way Alec wanted it, he wanted the bridge without the weights they undoubtedly were to carry in the wake of excuses and apologies. With a small smile, Alec placed his hand in Magnus's and let him gently tug Alec into the fray of bodies. 

At first Alec was self conscious, aware of each movement he made, but as the minutes flowed together he gave himself to the music. Truly letting go. He moved as if the rhythm made love to him, his limbs became an extension of the beat: body swaying, hips twisting, his arms flowed languidly, slipping from one tune to the next - seamlessly. He couldn't remember how long he had been dancing, packed in here he was just another body, another consciousness. He was not Alec, son of Robert and Marys Lightwood, brother of Isabel and Max Lightwood, best friend of Jace Wayland, employee of Luke Garrison, student of Wyoming college. He was simply a man, one of many. Semantics and calculations and contingency plans floated away lost to the beat... Alec moved with the sole purpose of simply being.

He had gathered the attention of many, dancing like this moment was what he had been working towards his whole life. Magnus inched infinitesimally closer, as he had been all night, but Alec didn't care for them, because in this moment he was wholly Magnus's and Magnus was wholly his. Touching Alec's arm Magnus closed the gap further, as Alec's eyes snapped open and he looked down with a mischievous grin.  
He took in the shorter man's flushed face and damp hair, lips parted, as he breathed with exertion. Knowing he looked no better, he reached up brushing his fingers through his hair, ruffling it in the process giving himself a rakish look. Unable to resist, Magnus curled his fingers around Alec's wrist, lowering his arm back down.  
Alec continued swaying, as Magnus brushed the sensitive skin on his inner wrist, skimming up his forearm, over his biceps and spreading his palms across his shoulders, before reaching to link his hands on the nape of Alec's neck. It was happening, Alec had loosened his control and it was happening. What this ominous it was, he didn't know. He didn't care. Alec's hands fell to Magnus's waist, tightening, as Magnus traced shapes on his skin, causing a shiver to ripple down Alec's spine. Whatever destruction was to preceded these chain of events, Alec would endure it all gladly, repeatedly, if only to feel the touch Magnus bestowed upon him now. Continuing his teasing, Magnus traced the shell of Alec's ear, thumb grazing below his jaw. Alec smiled coquettishly, hooking his fingers in the loop if Magnus's jeans and tugged, crashing their hips together. Eliciting a throaty moan from Magnus. Yes, this was what he wanted. Magnus peered up through his lashes, giving a sultry smile in return as he began grinding against Alec. The taller man's eyes shuttered, his breath hitching, as lust crowded his senses. Still his severed nerves gave no sign of healing, Alec couldn't care for tomorrows and afters and latter consequences.

Not wasting another moment, he jerked back, dragging Magnus to a shadowy corner, he didn't wait to reach there as he slammed his lips against Magnus's. Magnus hit the wall with a muffled sound, his fingers burying themselves in Alec's hair and he kissed back just as fervently. Whatever resemblance of control they possessed had vanished, as Alec pushed closer trapping Magnus against the wall. His leg slipped between Magnus's and he pushed up against his crotch. Meanwhile, Magnus's right hand squeezed Alec's jean clad behind, his left scratched at Alec's scalp, while Magnus's tongue coaxed deep throated noises from him. 

Their hands were a flurry of action - greedy - as they pinched and pulled, working faster, wanting more, more, more. Magnus bit Alec's lip, hard, earning a whimper from the taller boy, as he tasted blood. Sucking Alec's lip into his own mouth, Magnus looked into his eyes, framing his face with jewelled fingers.  
Alec's pupils were wide and diluted, his breathing strained, "Fuck, Magnus I - ", he swallowed, as Magnus nipped the corner of his lip, the skin under his lobe, before continuing down his neck.

" You what?", Magnus asked huskily, biting especially hard at the hollow if his collar bone, earning a sharp gasp from Alec. He licked and sucked the same spot, causing Alec's grip to increase in pressure under the hem of Magnus's, hard enough to leave bruises.

"I...I want - ", he panted.

" Yes?", Magnus crooned, biting, licking and sucking the sensitive spot between Alec's shoulder and neck. "Say it, love.", he purred against Alec's skin. 

Straightening, Alec pulled Magnus close until there was no question of what he wanted, putting his lips level with Magnus's ear, he growled, " You, I want to fuck you. Want you to fuck me so hard, until I'm sweating and swearing underneath you.". 

His finger slipped under Magnus's jeans meeting bare skin. Clentching his eyes shut, the realisation that Magnus was wearing nothing made Alec want to damn the consequences and let Magnus take him right here, not caring who saw. Magnus, becoming aware of the effect he was having on Alec, traced over Alec's front, before palming his jeans roughly.

"My place.", he demanded, hardening at Alec's conspicuous desperation.

Grabbing his hand, he yanked Alec out of the club, making him stumble after Magnus. The action in direct juxtaposition to how the night started. There was nothing gentle about him now.

\-------------------------------+

In the cab, they sat on opposing ends, the air thick with sexual tension, but the crisp night air had dampened their frenzy, allowing doubts to creep into Alec's mind. The haze of the club retreated as Alec sat in the cab, aware of very real consequences. Though each line if thought ending with the same conclusion, even if I break from this, I can't stay broken forever. That was impossible, he had moved on before, he had picked up the pieces that were Alec and moved on. When Magnus left, when his parents had forsakenhim. He had taken the pieces of himself, piling them in an anvil and forged a sturdier Alec. He pressed his forehead to the cool glass, until goosebumps prickled his arm from the cool sensation. He knew they should talk about this, clarify, or name whatever this was, but for once, Alec raised banners of war against what he should do. For the first time in his life, he didn't care that he had spent more time with his tongue down someone's throat than speaking with them. For once he wanted to blow caution to the wind. All he could think about was Magnus's hand on his skin, breath on his face, moans in his ear, perhaps Magnus didn't feel the same. Perhaps he was waiting for Alec to bring up the subject. Sighing at ghis inability to even unknowingly cause Magnus affliction, he twisted around, opening his mouth and closing it. Reaching back to rub his neck, he cleared his throat, "So... should we talk?", he asked, wincing at his vexatious query.

\-------------------------------+

Watching the street blur by, Magnus kept relaying the feel of Alec pressed up against him, his mind supplyinhpg a sludeshow of how he wanted Alec to co e undone under the tips of this fingers, the touch of hus tongue. Shutting out the world, Magnus begged his eyes to remain on his side of the cab, knowing he'd be unable too constrict himself otherwise. Be that as it may, Magnus's eyes had other ideas. They flicked across Alec's frame, illuminated by the passing street lamps. Magnus took in his broad back, tense and heaving slightly, Magnus couldny help but feel smug. He had been the cause of that. Alec was sitting facing the window, breath fogging the glass.

Magnus had wanted Alec the day he had laid eyes on him in class, head tilted backwards, leaving his pale neck on display. He had wanted to take Alec on the very desk he sat at, prying out scream after scream of pleasure. He didn't care about how he was supposed to do this. He was attracted to this hazel eyed, black haired, pale skinned man. This man who was built like a Greek sculpture with his angled jaw and high cheekbones and muscled body. He had wanted him. He still wanted him.  
He didn't care about what they had before, it had meant something once, despite his early deterrence to the subject. Magnus had no idea why he had so callously replied at the lunch table, but right now, those emotion had no play in his actions. Alec was a stunning man and Magnus was going to enjoy him.  
So, when Alec asked him if they should talk, he answered truthfully: "You're attracted to me, I'm attracted to and we're going to act on that attraction. What's there to talk about?"

\-------------------------------+

Upon arriving at Magnus's apartment, Alec looked around, taking in a cream coloured carpet that gave way to a wood panelled kitchen. The living room was spacious and lined with a bookshelf along the whole left wall, the spines of various covers gleaming in the light. On upon a time that is what Alec would have wanted too, a collection of lexis that descibed and seduced him. Now he had to consider factor such as money and budget. There was two sleek sofas sitting in the centre, maroon with black seams. The whole back wall was glass, looking out over houses, an armchair was facing the view with a book perched on the arm rest. The apartment was classy, but comfortable. It was all very Magnus. At least what he had remembered of Magnus, the glimpse into the room felt like an admonishon, an almost confession that Magnus had not changed to the core, merely grown into a fuller version of himself. 

Alec didn't get a chance to further examine the place, as Magnus's hand snaked under his shirt and he tilted his head to whisper into Alec's neck, "Now where were we?".

Alec brushed his knuckles in answer, before firmly pulling him towards the door he assumed was the bedroom. Whoever Magnus was had no leverage in his current actions. Guessing right, he closed the door clumsily, as Magnus whirled him around, backing him against the door and attaching his lips to Alec's. The kiss was heated and wild, no preamble, as they clashed against each other again and again. 

Magnus's tongue stroked Alec's lips, before prying them apart, the first brush of their tongues sent a jolt of pleasure through Alec. Magnus doubled his efforts, sweeping his tongue over the roof of Alec's mouth. It was as if Magnus had doused Alec's body in kerosene and struck a match igniting a dormamt animalistic hunger. Alec reached out, intending to touch Magnus, pull him closer, however he found his wrists pinned above his head, while Magnus's other hand jerked open th buttons on Alec's shirt. He began mouthing Alec's neck, licking down his chest, as he brushed a palm over his nipples.

" F - fuck.", Alec breathed gulping down air faster, as Magnus carried on licking lower reaching the dip in Alec's abdomen. 

Not missing a beat, he flicked open the button of Alec's pants, before pulling them down. Hands skimming over Alec's butt, he pinched the tender flesh, earning a yelp from Alec.

"Sorry love, couldn't resist.", chuckled Magnus, as he skimmed over his thighs, calf's and up again, before cupping the base of Alec.

Capturing his gaze, Magnus licked the tip of him, flicking it, as he took him in. Alec's hands curled in the other man's hair. He watched Magnus's head bob, never wrenching his eyes away.

" Fuck Magnus. Shit. Th - that feels - .", he groaned panting.  
"Did I tell you Alexander, his much I love hearing filthy utterances tumble from your lips?", Magnus spoke around Alec, " Delicious.", he moaned huskily, knowing Alec could feel his words vibrating through him. Alec was unsure if he meant how Alec cursed again, or how Alec tasted. Alec was too immersed in pleasure to apply the appropriate amount of fastidious scrutiny it would take to decode the words.

Shuddering Alec gripped Magnus's scalp harder, " Fuck.", he gritted out, "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.".

Magnus only laughed at the younger man's response, " Yes.", he urged, "Just like that.".

Smirking he watched as Alec struggled with the jolts of pleasure his words evoked, before pulling off and sauntering to lay suggestively on the bed. Alec pressed the heel of his hands into his eyes, if he was any less lust riddled, he would have been embarrassed, but desire made him immune. After gathering himself, Alec pushed off the wall, stalking towards Magnus and began to return the favour. He kissed his way up Magnus's thighs, over his hip bone, across his stomach, teasing his way around, procuring his revenge.

He bit and nipped at the others skin, causing Magnus to twist the sheets tighter with each passing second.

" Alexander.", he gasped.

"Yes?", inquired Alec innocently, echoing Magnus's earlier taunts.

" Please", he ground out, through glazed eyes.

The word snapped any resolve Alec had to continue his torture, as he took in Magnus's disheveled form. Bare chest heaving, heavy lidded eyes, legs splayed, as he gripped the sheet, white knuckled. Surging forward Alec roughly swallowed him in, jerking fast causing Magnus to cry out, as he hollowed out his cheeks and sucked.

The desire was a palpable force in the air. 

"Stop ", Magnus gulped out, "I want to finish inside of you.".

He pushed Alec off and on his back, kneeling in front of him. Magnus spread Alec legs, brushing against his entrance, eliciting a whimper from Alec. Both their members were straining and pained, but Magnus could wait a while. 

" Beg.", he deadpanned, "I did, so it's only fair if you do too.", he reasoned, as if they were in the middle of a conversation.

" Magnus ", Alec whimpered bewildered, "Come on".

" Beg.", repeated Magnus, still expressionless, holding himself at Alec's entrance.

The lack of emotion in his voice aroused Alec further, but Alec had never begged for anything, ever and wasn't going to know.

"Do it.", he ground out in frustration.

" Beg.", intoned Magnus, pressing his entrance hard enough to torment without offering any release.

Seeing Magnus's undeterrable expression, he chocked, "Please. Fucking hell Magnus. Please. Please. Please.", he cried out, voice hoarse with wanting.  
Satisfied, Magnus grunted, as he thrust in. "Good", he mumbled, " Just like that love, keep going.".

"Please, Magnus, please.", Alec all but sobbed out, as Magnus slammed in hard and fast . 

The room filled with their moans, as Alec came still begging. Magnus rode him out rougher, stringing out his pleasure, as he too shattered with Alec's name on his lips.


	3. Chapter 3

Magnus woke to the scent of coffee and an empty bed, rolling over he came face to face with a cup of the offending beverage and doughnuts on his bed side table. Tucked underneath the cup was a note, which he snatched out scowling. Magnus didn't know why he felt such strong irritation. Had Alec left in the night? That by no means explained the lukewarm coffee, or fluffy doughnuts, because as far as he was concerned, sustenance didn't just keep it self warm. Deciding to pursue the actions of a mature individual, Magnus flung the paper with tremendous disdain, despite there being no one other than the furniture to witness the action and stalked toward his bathroom. Ignoring the paper and his surging irritation. Magnus's eyes clung to the clock as he passed, 6:18. Despite the seemingly nice gesture, Magnus couldn't help but feel like a hooker. Who woke up before six on a sunday anyway? Alec had disappeared and left a note, all that was missing was the cash on his dresser. Granted Magnus hadn't been looking forward to the awkward morning, but he would've thought Alec would have some tact. Huffing in indignation at his tumultuous thoughts, Magnus made his way to the bathroom with renewed purpose. He'd deal with this after a shower.

Fifteen minutes later Magnus sat on his bed with damp hair and the crumpled remains of his fury. He read over Alec's note for the second time, guilt pricking fine holes in his demeanor.

Sorry I had to leave.  
I swear this isn't the walk of shame. I have work at 6, so I went home to change. Plus, I got you donougts to make up for it. They're from Nightgale, if you dont like them anymore I'll be sure to pay you back for the bad taste ;)

After the thorough examination, Magnus set down the note, feeling slightly wrecked. He reached for a doughnut. It was his favourite, a glazed wholewheat doughnut. Heart fluttering Magnus bit into the delectable treat. The memory that accompanied only succeeded in tearing down the rest of Magnus. He remembered the first time Alec had took him to the cozy diner, they had been dating. Magnus had taken one bite of the doughnut and declared it his usual haunt, since then him and Alec frequented the place everyday after school. Nightingale was at least a 25 minute walk from his place and Magnus firmly closed the door to the sect of his mind that whispered tantalizing notions: He woke up before 5 for you He did it for you. Alec still cares, still remembers. Still knows you despite the years and silences and changes. Barricading such thoughts, Magnus finished the first doughnut, started the second and drank the coffee till the last drop, despite it going cold. All the while ignoring bubbles of joy in his heart.

\-------------------------------+

It had been three days since Magnus and Alec had rendezvoused for the lack of a better word, however both went on with their lives tactically avoiding any mention of the night. There was not a wisp of ungainliness, nor any action to build up their friendship on it's dilapidated foundation. Though, regardless of recent events Alec couldn't help but feel a thrum of disappointment. Magnus, Raphael and Simon had gotten close with an exchange student called Ragnor Fell, especially Magnus. Alec tried to snuff out the envy as he saw them laughing in the corridors and conspiring in class. He had trouble shirking of the petulant chorus of: it should be me. Alec had his own acquaintances and friends. He also had no reservations of kindling their romance, but had thought Magnus would at least try to make up for three years of silence. Had thought that night would have meant more than just a release for Magnus. Had thought - 

Swearing Alec yanked open his locker. He was acting imbecilic moron, standing here reminiscing of different outcomes and what if's. About how Magnus wouldn't give him the time of day. Disgusted at his own wallowing, Alec flung books into his bag with a vicious ferocity and a scowl to match.

"Someone's in a mood.", whistled Jace, leaning against the subsequent locker with a clanging thump.

" I'm fine.", Alec blew out, running a hand through his hair. He really was oozing an aura of pathetic, if Jace, who was as thick as his textbooks conjoined, could sense something amiss.

"I'm sure the abuse victim would disagree.", Jace snorted, arms crossed, a skeptical expression on his face.

Confused, Alec raised an eyebrow. He wasn't in the mood for Jace's unamusing jibes. 

" The locker. Jjust because it has no nerves, doesn't make it acceptable to pummel the thing.", Jace mocked effectively cutting into Alec's irritation. The words echoed of a previous lecture Alec himself had given him. Breathing out a laugh, Alec felt the vice of strain loosen its grip.

"Jace, I caught you pulverising a postbox with a metal pole., just because you were aggravated. This situation is immensely different.", Alec reasoned closing his locker, although he used a noticeably lower amount of force.

"Right, whatever. Thank fuck you didn't see the five around the corner.", Jace muttered, uninterested in his own failings.

" What?", Alec asked, snapping his head towards Jace, " I swear to God, you better be joking.", he said, pinching the bridge of his nose. With Jace you never really could tell which hypothetical incident was a joke and which an anectode. All Alec knew was that each scenario was as outrageous as the next, if not more so.

"Of course I am.", Jace reassured, " Anyway, Izzy said to tell you, family dinner tonight. Don't forget.", he chirped. Jace never chirped, that was more of Simon's forte, so naturally Alec became suspicious. Adding more fuel to the fire, he couldn't help but think Jace's stride contained an additional vigor. Still unsure and somewhat defeated Alec made his way to AP calculus, perhaps he was overreacting, but in Jace's case even evacuation procedures would be basic protocol. Although, It was not as if he could do anything about the postboxes at this moment. He could offer to pay for them, however even Alec saw little merit in admitting vandalism to a government official's assistant. Hence, Alec simply went to class, turning his back on the memories that hung like ghastly cobwebs in the harsh lighting of the college corridor. Memories that would leave remnants of silk too fine, to perhaps ever remove. 

\-------------------------------+

Only after Alec had sat down did he take note of the minority of students in attendance. Besides a curly haired girl who's fashion sense could rival Isabel's, Alec happened to be the only other individual present. She seemed to radiate a cloud of hostility, yet Alec found her to be intriguing, if not pleasant. The girl had been been a sagacious partner, the few times Alec had been paired with her. An intelligent figure who could hold an interesting conversation.  
"Staring at Maia? I though you were past the finding an efficacious beard phase", came Magnus's teasing voice, drawing Maia's attention as well as Alec's. Despite his easy tone Alec felt a twinge of shame, as he recalled how adamant he had been in hiding their previous relationship.

Unable to decide if it was truly a jab, Alec played it safe and brushed off Magnus, addressing Maia in his stead, " Sorry long day. I was just thinking that regardless of your intelligence and pleasant fashion sense, my sister and you are two humans best not acquainted. ". This compliment was delivered in the form of an observation, as if he was merely cataloging the number of lexis in his assignment. The lopsided grin and unassuming tenor of his comment, earned a soft laugh from Maia. Alec could be quiet charming without the pomp and swagger of the usual stereotypes encompassing the male population.

"You know, if anyone other than you said that, gay, or not. I would have shown him just how extended my vocabulary can be, but seeing as its you. Thanks.", she responded, her brown eyes shining with amusement. It seems Alec's comment had indirectly insulted Maia, because he recognised that particular brand of humour from Isabel's own reactions to varying "helpful" comments Alec had bestowed upon her.; 

" I dont know if I should be honoured, or offended. The boys in this school aren't exactly...", he waved his hand in an elaborate gesture, as he trailed off.

Scoffing, Magnus cut in, " First of all darling, I am deeply offended, as I seem to be grouped with the 'boys in this school' category. ", as he took out his notebook. " Secondly, this.", he encompassed, waving his hand in a fashion similar to Alec's, "Is not an adjective.", he deadpanned reminding Alec of another time he had used that tone. A time he did not want to remember in a classroom, in front of other anthropoids generally. 

Clearing his throat and willing his cheeks to cool, Alec answered, " Yeah, I know.", his voice coming out scratchier than he intended. 

Magnus seemed to have caught the link and looked over with a sly grin, "I - ", he began.

" Okay class, seeing as you're always complaining about how tedious solving exercises are, I devised an activity away from the conventional teaching style for math.", announced Mr. Beamer, successfully cutting of Magnus and looking all too pleased with himself. 

Alec, once again, wasn't sure if he was disappointed.

"I would like you to work with your desk partners and create a 3 - d model representing the following topics: Limits and Continuity, Derivatives and Rates of Change, or Integrals and Area, depending on which I assign you. I expect this handed in four weeks from now, with an oral presentation. This will be done in lieu of home work, with the exception of the daily practice questions, of course.", explained the teacher.

" Of course.", mumbled Magnus in annoyance.

"What?", questioned Alec perplexed, under his breath. Eyes still on the board, as to erase any chances of a repeat of the last lesson. 

Magnus faced the younger man trying to discern his tone, only to find genuine anticipation on his face. " Of course.", Magnus whispered again, however this time he was significantly amused.

"It'll be an invigorating challenge.", shrugged Alec, noticing a strange expression flit across Magnus's face, before he covered it up with a haughty look.

" Invigorating.", he scoffed, "Who says that?", his tenor seem almost... endearing? But before Alec could question it, Magnus faced forward, concentrating intensely on Mr. Beamer's words.

\-------------------------------+

" So, after school, your place?", Magnus asked, as the students piled out.  
"Oh.", replied Alec surprised, " Um, it'll have to be after work, so 7:30?", he queried, expecting a refusal, as he packed away his supplies.

"Sure, I'll text you when I get there.", the older man answered, unfazed, " Number?". Taking in Alec's mildly shocked expression, he frowned. "What? You thought I was going to dump it on you?"

"Well no, I thought... because - you just, I mean. I assumed.", Alec struggled, unable to form a coherent sentence.

" Wow, Alec.", Magnus snapped, "Way to paint me the jerk.", swinging his bag over his shoulder violently.

" What do you expect me to think?", Alec asked vehemently, "You hook up with me, then dont even look my way twice.".

" Don't make this about that, Alec. Dont be so clingy.", Magnus spat.

Ignoring the way his heart clenched at those words, the younger man seethed, " I'm not making it about anything, Magnus. What is wrong with you? We were friends way before this bullshit. If anything, you're the one projecting.", gaining momentum, Alec plundered ahead.

"This isn't even about sex, its about how you seem to think 15 years of friendship isn't reason enough to even try to be civil. You dont want yo speak to me? Fine. But dont get offended, when I assume that's what you're going to keep doing.", Alec finished breathing heavily and pushed past Magnus. He had not felt fury like this in along time. So completely obliterating and wholly directed at one person, rage seemed to crackle from his very being, as Alec none to pointedly ignored the general school populous. Not looking back once, he stormed his way out of the building. Alec was sick of second guessing himself and around Magnus that's all he seemed to do.

\-------------------------------+

After work, Alec had come home to boxes of takeaway and bickering. Currently, sitting here, even as Izzy smacked Jace once again and as Jace exaggerated in his reaction, once again, Alec felt calm. This is what family dinners are supposed to be like, spending time with the ones who understood you, even if they weren't blood related, like Jace.

" If you ask me", said Jace out if the blue, " You give that Magnus guy too much leniency. ", he observed, leaning against the front if the sofa, as he sat on the floor with Alec sitting crossed leg, opposite him. Izzy mirroring his posture had token over the couch, " He was just a kid when Alec got kicked out. There's no need to blame him for what Dad did. ", reasoned Isabel. " And for the love of God, speak after you finish. Nobody needs to see that.", she exclaimed, nose wrinkling in disgust.

"I'm not blaming him, even though he is a jerk. I'm Just saying Alec should be careful.", pointed out Jace, purposefully chewing as loud as he could, baiting Isabel. Alec wondered at his audaciousness, no man would cross Isabel, not with the constant threat of sterility hanging above his head.

" That's rich coming from you.", Alec muttered, he was getting imensely annoyed at being the subject of the conversation, as if he was not present. "Also, I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. The way you two are going, I'm surprised you don't suit me up in protective gear each time I step out.", Alec replied blandly.

"Exactly Jace and if they do find each other under the sheets, it'll be the matter of two consenting adults.", Isabel quipped, cackling at the glare Alec through in her direction.

" Isabel.", he warned.

"Oh no, Alexander Gideon Lightwood, dont try and deny it. Clary and I saw you dancing with him on Friday night,before you vanished.", taunted Jace from his spot on the floor, " Where, pray tell, did you go?".

"Home.", Alec deadpanned, " We took a cab together.". Beginning to collect the mess he carried on coolly, "Being over him, doesn't mean I'm blind Jace. He was a hot guy who asked me to dance and so I did."

Choosing to sideline Alec's condescending tone Jace rolled his eyes."Looky who grew up.", munched Jace around his food, causing Isabel to finally snap. It was an audible brittle crack.

"Jace, if you don't quit chewing like that. I will rip out your balls and stuff them down your throat.", she sniped sweetly, with all the venom of a mamba. The sugar coating on the words was overtly saturated, hence not the most enticing of delights. It was the tone Isabel reserved for those on death parole and Jace's reflecting expression conveyed as much, this was only to end in casualties and excessive bloodshed.

Stacking the boxes and blatantly ignoring the two, Alec addressed the only responsible one of the pair. " Izzy could you - ", he paused as the bell cut him off. Distractedly, he made his way to the door adjusting the various containers, so he wouldn't drop them. Arms full, but in no danger of dropping the cartons, he opened the door and came face to face with an uncertain looking Magnus. To say it shocked him was a highly exaggerated understatement.

" Um hey. I.. err. I came to apologize, for earlier that is ", admitted Magnus, his eyes seemed to search Alec's for any scraps on how to proceed. 

" Oh.", Alec blinked dumbfounded, jarred into action by sound of Magnus's voice. Churlish as it may seem, Alec had not truly believed it to be Magnus, perhaps his obsessive thoughts had conjured up the illusion. "Okay, come inside.", he said gaining control, suddenly closed off. 

The way Magnus had acted, had hurt. There was no way Alec would let him swindle his way through an apology. Needing a moment to collect himself, Alex left Magnus standing in the doorway, as he strode in. Throwing away the load in his arms acted as the perfect guise of being in control, he needed to be after his earlier outburst. No matter how deserved, Alec did not lose control like that. Although in conclusion of recent events, he had come to realise, nothing went the way it usually did when Magnus was involved. Try as he might Alec always gave into the urge of bickering back, flirting back. He wanted to push the thing that was Magnus and Alec, Alec and Magnus. He felt an inexplicable need to test the bond, tug at its tether.

" Sorry to cut this short, Izzy, Jace, but I need to get started on a project with Magnus.", Alec spoke nonchalantly, as if they hadn't been talking about him mere seconds ago. Alec didnt know exactly what he was doing, however he certainly appeared self assured, so it was not all in vain.

Jace opened his mouth, no doubt about to retort something witty and disastrous, but Alec's pointed look and Isabel's not so subtle jab had him keeping quiet.

"See you later, brother.", Isabel said, kissing Alec's cheek and ushering Jace out, paying no heed to his disgruntled protests. His best friend was admittedly not apt in making the best life choices. As the door clicked shut and a heavy silence threatened to smother Alec where he stood. Alec abandoned his vigil of the peeling wall paper in the right most corner of his living, turning to face the inevitable. Did he really think he could ignore Magnus after inviting him in? Common sense had indeed learned the procedure in case of an attack of Magnus's presence. Abandon all tasks and abort. Knowing he could delay no longer, Alec shifted, folding his arms in front of his chest, caging his emotions in, or Magnus's out. He wasn't sure of the difference anymore. Not knowing how to proceed, Alec simply waited, holding the gaze an abundantly tense Magnus.

" Look", he said, inhaling sharpy, as if their very friendship rested on his next words, which for all he knew it did, had it not been for Alec's incongruous need for all that was Magnus. "I was a shitcase, I shouldn't have called you clingy. You aren't. Even before that I shouldn't have ignored you.".

His words tumbled over one and another, a desperate apology, an intoxicating plea. Magnus breathed shakily, as Alec continued staring, face absent of any emotion. " After the club, I assumed things would be awkward. I was even prepared for it. But then it wasn't and I thought I was either extremely dense, or you we're ignoring that night.", Magnus continued, a bit hesitant at revealing his vulnerabilities, though he rapidly brushed away Alec's potential objections that crept in the furrow of his brow, the pursing of his lip, the tightening of his stance. "I know you weren't. I had just overthought the situation so much, it seemed like the logical outcome.".

" So there I was consumed by you, while you seemingly went on unaffected.", Magnus conceded, vulnerability creeping into his eyes.

This time Alec did interrupt, " I wasn't unaffected.", he said, frown deepening.

"Clearly", Magnus scoffed, recalling Alec's outburst earlier. Justified, but an outburst all the same.

" All I'm saying is, I'm not trying to make excuses. I didn't set out to hurt you.", he said , frustration present through the shaky hand he ran over his hair and down his face, as if he could wipe away the emotions he was feeling. He would do anything not to lose Alec, but as Magnus poured his heart out, Alec had stood there stoic. Giving no sign if he was succeeding in his efforts. Magnus was incredibly selfish, he had realised even after years of separation, he still wanted Alec as a friend. No matter how much, or how often he told himself that Alec was just another person he had come into contact with, ordinary, he could not believe that lie. There was nothing ordinary about Alexander Lightwood. Magnus's every sense was crowded with Alexander, from his hazel eyes, to raven black hair and pale throat. He had become an obsession, compulsion, Magnus's destuction. 

"I know an apology isn't enough, but I'm sorry Alec.", he croaked, voice tainted with shame and a sliver of hope. Hope Alec could snuff with nothing more than a breath. 

" Fine, I forgive you.", Alec relented.

"I'll make it up to you.", Magnus said softly, " I'll - . Wait, what?", he wheeled back back confused.

"You didn't think I was going to end our friendship based on one fight, did you?", smirked Alec. "Though you did deserve it.", he said honestly, dropping down on the sofa and flicking on the t.v. As much as Magnus's actions had severed Alec's heart, he knew that whatever pain they caused each other would be forgiven, if they could wield it to forge something stronger. However, never forgotten because an perpetual cycle of repetitive mistakes was not what Alec wanted, not what they both needed, but forgiven they could be. 

It was Magnus's turn to stare nonplussed. If he hadn't been so relieved, he would have been furious. "I know.", he laughed quietly, after what seemed like an age, running his hands through his hair. " You are evil darling. My heart felt like it was going to give out, for all the hints you gave me.", he chuckled easing down next to Alec. Though the movement was tender and if you looked close enough, you could see past the veil of nonchalance. Underneath was a river of gratification and disbelief, running through Magnus minutely tense posture, as he inclined back. Through the tenuous upward curl of his lips. Through the flickers his amber orbs.

Clicking on a movie, Alec raised an eyebrow in question. "What about the project?", Magnus frowned, after all that was how this conflict came to be. Magnus was by no means the most dedicated individual, however he gave an adequate amount of significance to his educational pursuits. 

Alec shrugged in response, " We have time.", he muttered, whilst burrowing deeper into the couch, causing an involuntary grin to sketch across Magnus's face. And, as the light flickered across Alec's features, illuminating his laughs and frowns, while he criticised the plot, Magnus blamed the speeding of his heart on the earlier fright. Convincing himself it had nothing to do with Alec's easy smiles and casual touches.


	4. Chapter 4

"Fuck", Alec swore, running his hand through his hair, while simultaneously blocking the flow of students. He ran his gaze, once again, over the text from his boss.

According to the typed lexis, Alec's shift had been cancelled and the café closed early. He was in the middle of tugging the roots out of his head, when Alec was interrupted by a warm hand on his arm, a gliding voice. "Is there a reason, darling, why you seem yo have decided to pursue a career in being a road block?". came a familiar voice.

Lifting his head Alec came face to face with the glittery man, he called his friend. He took in Magnus's form. Compared to Alec's policy on choosing practical clothes with no thought on their asthetic appeal, Magnus crafted his wardrobe on the basis of enhancing and highlighting his beauty. He wore crimson jeans and a white flowing shirt, that tightened around his biceps and ended in folded cuffs just below his elbow. The sheer material hung off Magnus's frame almost poetically. He had on his signature twine bracelets and various rings, while his hair was glittered and streaked red. Coalesced, Magnus looked edible.  
Casually removing his eyes from Magnus, Alec grumbled, "None, except the fact my boss cancelled my shift." It may not be an extremely mature move, the professed ignorance of his tangible attraction to Magnus. However, it was an effective move. Eying Alec suspiciously, Magnus clarified with a measured tenor, "So you're pissed, because you're boss gave you a day off?". Magnus was quiet perplexed at discovering the source of Alec's perturbance, he was thoroughly unaware of the existential crisis the lack of commitment had bestowed on Alec.

"That's seems backward logistics to me.", he observed arms folding, stance shifting. Magnus leaned forward slightly, " You do realise free time is an actual concept? Don't you know how to relax?", he questioned smirking. Magnus was clearly teasing the younger man. 

However, at the sight of Alec's resigned face, his superior grinned faded, as he huffed out an exasperated laugh, "Okay, it is decided. I, the fabulous Magnus Bane shall spend the evening with you.", he declared straightening with a flourish. Magnus clapped his hand together in finality, if Alec had forgotten how to relax, Magnus would show him, he was nothing if not a dedicated pursuer of improbable challenges. He would make Alexander once again enter the gate way to adolescent amusememt. No, he would make Alexander build his own mansion beyond the gate way of adolescent amusement. Lost in the maze of his multiple plans, Magnus stood eyebrows furrowed deep in thought, as he tapped an incessant finger to his lips. Magnus therefore, didn't have the foresight to move out of the way of a wayward individual, causing him to stumble forward on unsteady feet, barging past the pair. 

" Excuse you ", he called out after the offending party, straightening the sleeves of his blouse. "We were having a conversation here.", he called out, raising his voice slightly, far it be from him to let injustices committed against himself pass fleetingly. 

Alec had to admit, spending time with Magnus wasn't a bad alternative and Alec could relax. No, Alec would relax. Filled with a new purpose, Alec began dragging Magnus way from the bickering match he was having with a surly looking student. Chuckling at the Magnus's antics, Alec lead them away.

"Honestly, what a rude man.", Magnus muttered, not at all perturbed as the taller man dragged him away. At this words, Alec's smile widened, as he lead Magnus through the hallway and to his next class.

\-------------------------------+

After the bell signalling the end if school rung, Alec texted Magnus that he was going to the library. He had an assignment and finishing early never hurt anyone. Fine, perhaps Alec didn't know how to relax, but the sooner he got his work done, the sooner he could have piece of mind and get to the relaxing part. Alec's idea of relaxing differed from the average teenage view. Clubbing and ruckus, parties and noise, were fun enough, but Alec preferred curling down with a book, when relaxing.

Running his fingers along the weathered spine, Alec sighed in content. He would gladly spend every waking hour of his free time among the ink filled pages. Standing in the swirling dust motes, illuminated by the shafts of sunlight, the musky smell of old books and pine filling his lungs. Running his finger over the dust covered shelves, which became more prominent the further back he traversed. This was Alec's haven.

Realising, he couldn't find the book he was looking for, Alec drifted towards the front desk. Perhaps, the student librarian knew where it was, he mused.

"Excuse me.", new said, knocking softly on the desk, to get the attention of the man behind it. He sat with his head buried in a book. 

The man was quiet plain, from his sandy blond hair, to his square shoulders and symmetrical face. Pleasant looking, but plain. Although, as he lifted his head, Alec was confronted with a stubbled jaw and the most mesmerising eyes. A pale green, so light they were almost translucent. 

Scowling, the man snapped, " Something on my face?", his tone carried a hint of exhaustion, despite the snarky words. As if he had heard all the jokes and what Alec had to say was no different.

"No, I'm sorry, I shouldn't stare.", Alec answered apologetically.

" I get they're creepy, but if you have a problem, dont look at them.", the man growled angrily.

"What?", Alec sputtered. "I wasn't thinking that. I was thinking they're mesmerising, beautiful, like the surface of an iridescent, rippling lake."

"They're not creepy.", he spoke firmly, " More like a jewel. Rare and precious.".

"Oh.", blinked the other man in surprise. "Is this how you pick up all your men then, by waxing on the spot, poetic lyrical on their features?", he said grinning.

Alec felt himself burn with embarrassment, he had got so caught up in making the man see how stunning his eyes were, that he had forgotten himself. "I actually just came for a book on Derivativea and Rates of Change.", he coughed, looking up from his lashes in embarrassment.

" I'll go get it then. Its out back.", the man said standing, a grin still on his face. He was surprisingly tall, almost as tall as Alec, if not an inch taller. He wore a chestnut brown T-shirt over black tight jeans A simple attire, much like Alec's own black sweater and black jean, albeit in hindsight, Alec probably looked like a future felon, or Dracula in his all black piece.

Returning the man gave a cheeky smile, "Calyx Atarall, by the way.", he introduced.  
"Alec Lightwood.", Alec answered, reaching for the book. This man held a powerful allure, his gripping eyes a contrast with his plain features. And Alec was not a painter, but as he looked at the man he thought this: he would definitely capture this man if he was. \-------------------------------+ 

Magnus strolled through the library doors smiling. Of course Alec would want to spend his free time studying. What a nerd, he thought fondly, but any traces of a smile vanished as he beheld Alec leaning slightly against the front desk, in the midst of a conversation with the man behind it. It was not the interaction that bothered Magnus, but they way Alec looked at him. As if he wanted to take his picture and hang it up for all to admire. Which he could do, of course, but Magnus was no third wheel. And Alec shouldn't treat him like one. 

Arranging his face into a neutral smile, Magnus made his way to them. " Alexander", he breathed, sliding his palm over Alec's behind and squeezing hard. 

The action caused Alec to jump slightly and swallow his yelp, "Hey", Alec said turning towards Magnus, putting their faces an inch apart.

"Ready to go darling? I was thinking we could study at Nightingale.", he purred, ignoring the presence of the other man.

'That's fine by me.", Alec answered, stepping out of Magnus's grip. " Thanks for the book and sorry again for offending you. I meant what I said though.", smiled Alec earning a reluctant smile from Calyx, who had watched the exchange between Magnus and Alec.

"No problem. See you around.", he said.

" Definitely. ", answered Alec causing his smile to widen.

\-------------------------------+

Upon turning down a few blocks, Magnus hailed a cab, all the while not saying a word to Alec. As the two climbed, Alec heard Magnus tell the driver the address. Confused, Alec broke the silence, " That's your house address.". In lieu of answer, Magnus roughly captured Alec's lips.

"Can't do this at Nightgale's. Can I?", he smirked, licking Alec's bottom lip, before leaning back. 

Pleasantly surprised, Alec agreed, " No, no you can't. ", unsure of what had brought on the sudden change in mood, but Alec couldn't say he minded.

As they stepped into Magnus's apartment, Magnus slammed the door shut, before pushing Alec up against the wall and attaching their lips. The kiss was a war dance. Magnus roughly biting Alec's lip, sweeping the roof of his mouth and sucking on his tongue. The action caused a lightning bolt to sear Alec's spine. Noting the change in Alec, Magnus pressed harder against Alec, grinding his hips. Alec moaned and slide his hands over Magnus's abdomen feeling the burning skin, he stroked higher brushing Magnus's nipples, eliciting a sharp gasp in Alec's mouth. Loving the sound, he did it again and again.

When suddenly, Magnus pulled off and spoke voice scratchy from desire, " Just two adults acting on attraction, right?".

The words sent a surprising pang of pain through Alec. The way Magnus had acted, Alec almost thought he had been jealous, that maybe... 

Lightly shaking his head, Alecs sent the half formed thought clattering on the floor."Yeah.", he panted, hands on Magnus chest and eyes on the shorter man. Alec knew this was unhealthy, but he didn't care. Tomorrow, he would think about what the disappointed meant. Right now, he just wanted Magnus, wanted his touch. 

"Fuck.", he groaned, " You're addictive.".

"And dont I kow it, darling ", Magnus smirked, before pushing off Alec and turning him around.

" Wha-", Alec asked confused, as he found himself staring at the biege wall, as Magnus yanked his hands up and pinned with an almost painful grip. 

"Quiet, darling. You'll enjoy this.", he whispered, biting harshly at Alec's exposed neck, earning a strangled moan. Complying to Magnus's silent request, Alec stretched his neck, allowing further access to Magnus's teeth. Magnus continued biting and licking over the hurts, hard enough to leave marks, while his right ripped open Alec's shirt, running a proprietary hand over his torso. His slightly heaving breaths were no comparison to Alec's jerking gasps. Reaching down, Magnus opened his trousers and roughly gripped Alec in his hand.

Hissing, Alec leaned against the wall, " Fuck - Magnus. ", he ground out. Laughing huskily, Magnus bit at Alec's lobe, moving closer until Alec could feel Magnus's arousal against his behind, causing him to buck his hips backwards. 

" Now, now. ", Magnus whispered sultrily. " Patience, Alexander.". His hand tightened around Alec, his thumb flicking the tip, as he began stroking, slowly. With a firm hand he continued pulling and twisting, but not increasing his pace. "Magnus.", Alec moaned breathless.

" Yes, darling.", Magnus crooned in a midnight caress.

"Do you want me to beg?", Alec gritted out, as he began to pull his hands down to grab Magnus and make him listen.

Magnus tightened his grip in response, pulling Alec's arms further up in a swift movement. Magnus hummed, circling his tongue over Alec's ear, taking in Alec's restricted form with hungry eyes.

"Maybe.", Magnus whispered, lips ghosting over Alec's neck and trembling shoulders. " Tell me what you want, Alexander. Ask for it. ", he urged, voice hard, emphasising his command by sliding his finger across Alec's base, eliciting a shudder.

" You.", he gasped.

"Be more specific, love.", Magnus purred, slamming his hips into Alec's forcefully.

Alec's knees buckled at the contact, as Magnus's hand kept moving at a a torturous pace. " Magnus.", Alec whimpered. Alec had begged the last time, but he would not do this. Would. Not. 

Voice clipped, Magnus asked, "What. What do you want, Alexander?", dragging his nails along Alec's length.

" I want you to - to grip my - my -", he trembled, grinding out the words.

"Grip your?", Magnus taunted, stopping all movement.

" My cock.", he chocked, " Goddamn it Magnus.", he swore voice breaking. "Grip my cock and pull faster, harder.".

" Now?", Magnus deadpanned, "Alexander, where are your manners. I do remember teaching you.", he said in a scolding tone.

" Please.", Alec gasped, "Fuck Magnus. Please Now.", he groaned as Magnus began moving his hand.

" Keep asking, wouldn't want me to forget? Would you love?", Magnus said, voice smooth, containing the hint of a threat.

"Faster, Magnus, faster", Alec sobbed, nails clenching into his palms on the wall, as Magnus began to pump harder and faster. " Harder. Fuck... fuck.", Alec cried, spilling into Magnus's hands.

Not giving the taller man a moment to recover, Magnus dragged Alec to his room , before bending him over his dressing table. He wanted to look at Alec's face, as he tore into him. Magnus was too lust riddled to care that his actions seem to stem from a particular emotion. He just wanted Alec, he wanted, wanted with such a burning ferocity that his desire flared inside of him until all he could think was: Alec, Alec, Alec.

Splayed out on the dresser, Alec met Magnus's eyes in the mirror, his mouth becoming dry at the sight of Magnus shucking his jeans, before pulling down Alec's. Not breaking the contact, Alec opened his legs, watching through lowered lashes, as Magnus's eyes darkened and he gripped Alec, nail digging into his hips.

Without warning Magnus thrust into Alec, earning a loud moan, eyes pinned on Alec's, he collided with the bent man again and again. Hitting his prostate and causing Alec to arch backwards with a feral cry. Eye's shuttering, Magnus coaxed throaty moan, after moan of pleasure. Magnus's own member strained painfully but Magnus was not done yet. Increasing his pace, Magnus thrust into Alec harder, as he reached yet another climax. His eyes stayed locked onto Magnus, lips parted, crying out his name, as he shuddered through his release.

Snatching his face, Magnus placed a sloppy kiss on Alec's lips, as he slowed down slightly. It was more of them panting into each others mouths than anything. But, he still did not stop.

"Magnus.", Alec whimpered, vioce gravelly, " I can't, I - ".

" Yes.", Magnus growled, "You can.", his voice guttural. He pushed in deeper and once again increased his pace, roughly slamming into Alec. Hard enough to cause the dresser to rattle underneath.

Alec took in Magnus's rumpled firm through the mirror, he felt Magnus throbbing inside of him, but he was still raw and sensitive from his previous release and as Magnus shoved in, Alec shouted in pleasure.

Looking at Alec's glazed eyes, white knuckled hands Magnus pounded in hard and deep, earning scream, after scream, until Alec came once again with a hoarse cry. Unable to hold back any more, Magnus too succumbed to intense waves of pleasure, as he flicked blazing eyes over Alec's wrecked form. Shuddering he pulled and stumbled with Alec to the bed, both men collapsing into each others arms.

\-------------------------------+

" Magnus.", Alec croaked, as they lay tangled in bed. The moonlight pooled along their naked bodies. Magnus tried and failed not to recall the reason for Alec's voice like that of a seasoned smoker's. 

"What's wrong, love?", he whispered back, his own voice slightly scratchy.

" Get up.", Alec chuckled, "We need to clean ourselves and the apartment.", he reasoned.

" And who's fault is that?", Magnus teased, rolling over and caging Alec's head between his forearms.

"Yo - ", Alec pauses mid - sentence taking in Magnus's shining eyes and plump lips curved into a smile. His hair brushed Alec's cheek softly. The moonlight cast a faint glow around Magnus's frame, making him seem ethereal in the light.

" That was great just attraction sex.", Magnus gave a lopsided grin. His words caused Alec to reel himself back. Of course, what had he been thinking? He had agreed to that. Deciding the freshly released hormones were confusing his brain, Alec pushed off Magnus. It was immature of him to even think of other alternatuves. Flicking the other man's nose, Alec swiftly slide out from under Magnus and slipped into the bathroom without looking back once, much to Magnus's confusion at the abrupt departure. 

Taking turns, Magnus entered the shower as soon as Alec had exited, unintentionally leaving Alec to clean the apartment. Upon emerging Magnus perpetually insisted he was planning to help, much to Alec's dubiousness of the matter. With no prior engagements, the two spent the rest of the evening lightly teasing each other and working on the project from the book Alec had dropped in the hallway. They're laughs echoed around the apartment: light and easy. In contrast with the heavy atmosphere of the earlier frenzy. Soon Alec had left and Magnus found himself alone in the apartment: exhausted, but content. The reason for initiating the steamy encounter lost in his slowing breaths.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep in mind Calyx means beauty in Latin.

Alec reached his house sometime after one. His mind a whirlwind off emotion, as he closed his apartment door and padded through his apartment. He didn't know what was wrong with him. He himself had set the boundaries, he had known, even made sure that what he and Magnus had was purely physical. 

However, laying beneath Magnus, laughing and teasing him - with the absence of sexual arousement Alec had the strangest urge to reach up and tuck Magnus's hair behind his ear and tug him on top of Alec. For a fraction of time, Alec had forgotten that they were not boyfriends,, for an even smaller fraction of time he had wished he had not remembered, "attraction sex". Swallowing the painful lump in his throat, Alec wearily shrugged off his clothes, preparing for bed.

He was just confused, he reasoned. It was because of the intimate contact, the released hormones, only because of the firiring neurons. Alec knew this for a fact, he had previously stumbled upon an article stating that what an average teenage considered "attraction for the one", was just a selection of hormonal and enzymatic releases. Not that Alec thought Magnus was the one.

Satisfied with this logical explaination Alec reinforced the theory around his feelings, cementing an chinks of doubt. His body was just confused. It had to be, because the alternative that Alec genuinely liked Magnus as more than a friend, again non the less, was too humiliating and terrifying to consider, thus before the thought had a chance to properly bud, Alec shoved it away in the shadows of his mind.

He would end this tomorrow. He had to tell Magnus that he wanted only friendship. Yes, Alec thought climbing into bed. He would no longer do this to Magnus, to himself, besides Magnus deserved better than Alec. Alec had nothing to give a man like Magnus. A man so flamboyantly comfortable with himself, so immeasurably preci - .

Choking of the thought, Alec aggressively clicked the lamp off and tumbled into a fitful sleep.  
\-------------------------------+

Wading through the next morning was like being in a fog spilled universe of his own, he answered Izzy's questions, laughed at Jace's jokes, listened and took notes in class. Though the whole exchange felt like a simple prelude to the conversation he would have with Magnus. Each breath seemed like a count down to lunch, when he would pull Magnus asides and voice his decision.  
Strolling through the gras with Jace Alec's eyes finally landed on the recipient. Magnus stood leaning against the tree they usually hung out at with Isabel. His head tilted in joyous laughter, sunshine threading through his hair, reflecting his eyes, making them seem like twinkling amber. Alec's eyes were glued to that smile.

All of Alec's anxiety suddenly coiled in his chest, causing him to dive straight into the, no doubt, cumbersome conversation. 

"Hey, Magnus.", he called out with a clearly forced air of indifference. " Can I talk to you for a second?", he asked.

"Sure.", Magnus frowned. " Are you okay?", he whispered drawing closer, worry lining his face. His eyes raked over Alec in search of any clue to Alec's cold demeanor, finding no such hint, he attempted to lighten the mood, "You're not breaking up with me are you, or proposing. I prefer the purposing.", he said, a lopsided grin lining his face.

" No", Alec breathed out, "Magnus, listen. This thing has been great, good, amazing actually.".

" You are breaking up with me!", Magnus exclaimed in exaggeration, dramatically prodding his Alec's chest. He successfully earned a few turned heads and a glare from Alec.

"No", Alec hissed. Taking a deep breath, Alec let the words spill out: "No more casual relationship. Let's just be friends." The words were supposed be be laid out casually, but instead was blunt ugly demand that materialised between the two, said as if Alec had been only doing Magnus a favour by going along with the charade. 

Internally wincing, Alec looked up, he didn't know what he haf expected, but it certainly wasn't an amused Magnus.

"That's all, darling? I was getting worried.". He chuckled. In answer to Alec's nonplussed expression, Magnus leant closer until his lips grazed Alec's ear, "I have no shortage of lovers, Alexander.", he purred, voice carrying a mocking edge, as if questioning how Alec could get worked up over such a trivial affair.

The dismissal tone and words pierced Alec's being meeting their target. Alec jerked a step back,as if the conjoined letters had been a physical blow. Shutting himself off, Alec forced a laugh, though it sounded strained to even his own ears, "I suppose not."

Clearing the unwelcome emotion clogging his throat, he stuffed his hands in his pocket.

"Well, that's that then. Lunch?", he questioned, expression carefully pleasant.

Waiting for Magnus to take the lead, Alec became slave to his own memories, his mind a cage, his consciousness a trap. Replaying each encounter and word swapped with Magnus, the memories became tainted with the newfound revelation. He reassessed each brush of their skin - had it held the same ferocity of pleasure and wanting for Magnus as it had for him? Each laugh, smirk shared - had it been as intoxicating for Magnus, as it had for him? No matter how hard he tried, Alec could not remember. Memory was cruel in that way.  
\-------------------------------+

"If you're the beauty, does that make me the beast?", Alec teased, slipping next to the blond haired boy on a bench about the third row up on the bleachers. It was an hour dedicated to sports and turns out Alec was not the athletic type.  
" You googled up my name?", murmured Calyx, eyes closed, as he leant back against his hands, cross legged with textbooks scattered in varying states of abandon around him.

"Not really", Alec smirked, "I just so happen to have taken Latin classes prior to our meeting. I hadn't mentioned it because a joke as well thought out as this deserved a proper execution".

" Proper execution.", Calyx scoffed, " Huh, who am I then, to compare? You are a man of many talents. A mere mortal, such as I , cannot even see the podium at which you stand."

Alec only nudged his shoulder in response, "More like I can't reach your level. Seriously, you're two inches taller than me. Who is that tall?", he said, throwing his hands up in mock exasperation.

Albeit, the veiled compliment didn't go unnoticed by the green eyed man. 

"Really? I thought Magnus was the one, you couldn't reach?", Calyx teased back, not bothering to hide the genuine interest in hearing his response.

" No, we're just friends and he's the furthest thing away from perfect.", Alec answered truthfully, if not a bit wryly, gaze fixed on this distant figures in the field below. If you knew where to look, you could see the sheen of longing that covered Alec's words. Calyx didn't know where to look, or perhaps he ignored it.

"Just friends?", he inquired, voice soft. Something in his tenor made Alec turn his head towards the light haired man, only to find him gazing intently back.

" We might have hooked up, twice.", Alec elaborated with a sheepish smile, "But that seems like an age go.".

" An age, huh?"

"A few weeks.", Alec clarified with a self depreciating smile.

It had been weeks ago, almost a month, since the said conversation. It hadn't ruined there friendship, or made it awkward. The pair still laughed and teased each other. Even ended up venturing into each other's apartments almost every afternoon to finish the project and spend time together. Nevertheless, their new stance on friendship seemed off kilter, as if they had missed a step in the dance and were now perpetually out of sinc. They both seemed to ignore the distance that had been inevitably carved between them.

Alec was wrentched out of his thoughts, as he heard a gentle, " Good.", from Calyx, as he surged forward cupping Alec's face in his hands. Calyx kissed him and Alec did not pull away.  
\-------------------------------+

Magnus had been in perdurable fall, since Alec had uttered the words last month. He felt as if his heart had been raptured, veins pulsating with a dim throb, anecho of their former selves. Each beat was anguish. Underneath his smirking taunts and winking one liners. Magnus did not understand, why it seemed like his eyes saw the world through a duller lense.

No, that wasn't quiet true. He knew. He knew that's somewhere along the month in which he had been back, Alec had once again captured his attention, awakening a deeper, different sort of yearning in him. It was awakened by Alec's rare, but unrestrained laughs, by his flirtatious demeanour and casual touches. It was no longer physical, if it had ever been. Magnus's defences had been chiseled away by an unexpected thoughtful gesture, a slip of a joke, Alec's general calming presence. He had disabled all the alarms and left Magnus completely exposed to the raw element that was Alec Lightwood.

Yet Alec didn't even realise it, because all Magnus had done was hurt Alec time and time again. Whenever he had found a footing in Magnus's heart. Magnus had callously shoved him off, knowing it clouded Alec's eyes in a dull sheen of pain. Knowing, yet not stopping. Magnus had slashed at Alec, when he decided to end the relationship. Magnus had retreated into himself, showing no mercy, no softness, even as he saw Alec stagger under the weight of his cruelty.

Be as it may, Magnus's pulse clambered, as he quickened his pace in undressing for gym. Perhaps, it want too late. He had not seen Alec with another individual, besides the library boy, even they had not seemed too close. It had been a month, but Magnus finally saw what he had refused to acknowledge. Surely fate would not be so cruel. 

He wanted Alec not just for the sex, but for the mornings after, spent in his arms. For the gentle words and churlish times spent together. For hours of nothing more than his companionship. 

Leaving his shoe laces untied, Magnus flung himself down the locker room. He could make it. He was willing to make it. To tell Alec what he truly wanted, even if the chance of rejection remained, Magnus was ready to risk it. It made no sense to run as if he was running out of time weeks after the encounter, but Magnus did not care.

Skidding on the asphalt,he ran towards Alec. It may not have made sense, but he couldn't waste another second. And, if Alec accepted him, Magnus would kiss him tenderly, he would call Alec each morning, just to be the first one to hear his voice. He would give his very being to become the reason Alec smiled, the catalyst to Alec's happiness.

He wanted to whisper the words straight into Alec's heart, string them up on a garland of moonlight for Alec to see. For the world to see. For a pocket of infinity with Alec, Magnus would do this, he would do a lot - frankly it was quiet terrifying - the depth of Magnus's emotion.  
Slowing his pace and Magnus swept his eyes across the field. His breath ringing in his ears, palms clammy, searching until his eyes fell on Alec. 

The fragile words he carried in his heart splintered and fell to Magnus's feet.

Later, when asked, Magnus would swear he had heard his heart cleaving apart, as the image of Alec,: lips locked, hands gripping the light haired man's shoulders, seared into his skull, his brain, his soul.

A man that was not Magnus.

Magnus turned, leaving the debris that was his heart and the nameless almost in the muddy field to be trampled over by careless feet. Yet, even as he retreated, speckles that were this thing, now unattainable, still clung to Magnus's skin and sank into his depths. Indestructible.

Still Magnus walked away, dragging this immortal something along./p>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who did not see the Calyx / Alec coming?  
> Everyone did: mesmerising eyes *duh*


	6. Chapter 6

"Do you want to get popcorn?", Clayx asked, arm wrapped around Alec.

" Sure, I'll pay.", he smiled up at the taller boy, as the couple made their way to the queue. 

Alec and Calyx had been dating for a little over two weeks. They had been on numerous 'official dates' and a few lazy ones, spent indoors. Albeit, today they had decided on a traditional movie on the big screen. 

As they stood in line, from his spot slightly behind Calyx, Alec looked over his boyfriend. The word was still foreign on Alec's tongue. Calyx was wearing a stormy grey jeans under a pale green t - shirt, which emphasised his pale eyes. It had been the feature that had first draw Alec to him. Even niw, Calyx was a great boyfriend, caring and fun to be with. They both had moved their lives to fit each other fairly easily. With them spending lunches in school library together, or with friends, alternating between Calyx's trio and Alec's group. Perhaps a bit awkward on Calyx's friend's part, but they could work around that. Everything was going smoothly, it was nothing like being with Magnus, where Alec was swept away from one emotion to the next. Alec's and Magnus's something had been like hurricane. Wild and thrilling, filled with equal amounts of pain and pleasure. The pair had also gained attention in school as the mirroring couple, not due to their personalities, which were thoughtful and sweet to each other, but because of their looks.

Alec's dark hair and hazel eyes were a direct contrast to Calyx's pale eyes and light hair. Being in a relationship with Calyx was calm, pleasant. Alec's relaxed tenor, had been obvious to Izzy and Jace too, the serenity was due to Calyx and Alec having had no petty squabbles. The relationship consisted of kissing and holding hands, even dry humping each other twice, but had always stopped there.

Alec wasn't going to succumb to wild passion again, is what he told himself, never truly asking himself if there was any indication of a wild passion towards Calyx. Magnus on the other hand, had coincidentally vanished the first three days of Alec's relationship, drivng Alec insane with worry, as no one seemed to know where he was. It was only when Magnus had texted the second day into said disappearance, that Alec had calmed down. It had been a simple sentence: 

Broke my phone, am sick, will see you.

Alec had immediately responded, asking if he needed anything, only to be called by Ragnor, "It's my phone. Dont use it as a way station.", he growled, before clicking the phone off and blocking Alec's number.

Aggrieved, but helpless, Alec had left Magnus to his own devices. While, a day later, he had slid back into Alec's newly changed routine seamlessly, the whole endeavour forgotten shortly.  
\-------------------------------+--

As Magnus sat in his arm chair, staring at the view, Ragnor stormed over, snatching the glass of whisky and something stronger from his hands.

" Magnus that's enough.", he snapped, "You can't keep destroying yourself over that boy.".

" I'm fine.", Magnus drawled, waving away his green obsessed friend's concern.

"It's just liquid courage.", he said, picking his way over the apartment. Reaching the table scattered with alcoholic bottles, he picked up various ones and began mixing a cloudy concoction. " I'll just be sipping tonight, I promise.", he added, sipping the drink, then proceeding to wrinkle his nose and adding more whisky. 

Magnus thought he had done pretty well, considering circumstances. After all, he had seen the man he loved in someone's else's arms. In someone else's mouth.  
  
That day, a few weeks ago, he had walked all the way home, opened his cabinet and swallowed his miseries. Ragnor had found him the next afternoon, leaning against the very same cabinet, legs outstretched, griping a bottle of expensive wine, as he sat with salty tracks mapping his face. Melancholy and extremely drunk, Magnus had spilled everything onto Ragnor in return for the silence his friend would give. Which he immediately got, because Ragnor didn't say a word, just gently hauled Magnus into bed, prying the bottle from his grip and clicking off the lights. "Sleep you drunken fool." Magnus had given himself two more days to wallow in self pity, during which he had hastily patched up his tattered heart,and henceforth gotten on with life. After all the result had been the obvious end to his own shortcomings. Magnus had pushed Alec away. It was only fair he let Alec move on. 

The preceding events brought them here, some minutes prior to the journey they were to traverse in order to reach a newly opened club/ bar: The Institute. The reason for this colloquial affair was of course, the mutual get together of platonic friends. Platonic friends which included Alec and his boyfriend.

\-------------------------------+--

Alec once again , stood under flashing lights and pounding music. Surveying the club, a species that Alec had successfully avoided for more, or less nineteen years. Yet here he was, in the span of a few months frequenting the haunt of a similar brand. This brand, however, was restrained in comparison to Pandemonium. It had none of the overzealous allure, or heady attraction.

Alec sat in a booth next to Calyx, eyes flicking over the entrance for the rest of his group. He had on a black t - shirt that clung to his skin, over artfully frayed blue jeans revealing slivers of toned lower thighs, while his hair was arranged in an out of the bottle, bed head look. He told himself he was searching for all the awaited members of his usual entourage.

As said entourage came into view, Alec's eyes automatically fell on Magnus. He had put in extra effort. Wearing a finely meshed, netted tank top, Magnus had left nothing to the imagination. His hands were adorned in wrist length leather gloves, while black leather pants clung to his skin outlining each curve and hollow. Alec clenched his hands, coolly reminding himself of his boyfriend. Magnus's arms supported the usual twine bracelets and his hair was streaked with glittery purple. Face done up in a peacock theme, designs arched around his eyes like a mask. It was a composition of varying hues of greens, blues and golds, placing Magnus's eyes at the center of attention. Trapping all who dared gaze directly into their depths. He was merely assessing, Alec reaasured himself as he bacame aware of his own lengthy stare. Proving a point to himself he glanced at the rest in order to asses them too. Try as he mighg hiis mind recorded nothing.

Guiltily, Alec looked back, as Calyx squeezed his thigh a little harder than necessary. "Want to dance?", he asked abruptly, already pulling Calyx into the crowd. He could not have Magnus in front of him, he did not know why and did not linger on the thought. Hence, that is how the night went for Alec, who flashed guarded smiles and the occasional surprised laughter, which Magnus had pried from him by recalling an amusing anecdote, or repeating an exaggerated joke. Alec found these bursts of laughter were always accompanied by a twinge of pain, which only deepened as the night wore on.  
\-------------------------------+--

The night was even more torturous than Magnus had imagined, with Alec wearing that thin cloth. With his boyfriend looking straight at Magnus before leaning closer, touching his bicep, neck and thigh. Magnus ground his teeth, his control was undoubtedly unraveling. And it was all it took for Magnus to keep for smashing Calyx's teeth in. Picking up on Magnus's deteriorating mood, Ragnor soon excused them both, muttering about the need to finish a paper due in tomorrow for their joint class. Nevertheless, all Magnus saw was Alec's wide eyes and flushed face, as Calyx swept a tongue over his lip and licked the drop of wine. While. Looking. At. Magnus. Magnus began to tremble with rage. How dare he taunt him? 

Covering up his jealousy, Magnus gave the group a dramatic wink, intending to rile Calyx, never once looking back he sauntered off, hips swaying more prominently than they usually did.  
\-------------------------------+--

Hearing Calyx slam the glass on the table, Alec jerked his eyes back, blushing in humiliation. He had been staring at Magnus's retreating form. Alec was a asshole, he'd had his boyfriend next to him and had been staring at another guy - at Magnus.

"So you're obviously not over Magnus, are you?", Calyx demanded, voice hard. Alec opened his mouth to deny his statement, but stopped, unsure. The sudden pause and heavy silence was statement enough.

" I can't believe I let you string me along. I liked you Alec.", he said voice breaking slightly.  
The pain he saw reflected in Calyx's eyes shamed Alec, especially as all he felt was relief. Relief that someone had voiced the thought clanging in his brain for months. " I like you too, just not- I'm sorry. I didn't want to hurt you.", he said. Shame and disgust at his own cowardice roiled in Alec's stomach, threaghtening to rip him apart, or maybe it was the drinks - he couldnt tell. He didn't know what he was doing, why he was feeling this way.

Ignoring Alec's pleading, guilt ridden expression, Calyx slide out of the booth, disgusted. But, as Alec tried to stand, to folliw after him. To do what,he didnt know. Alec realised he was drunk, the drink he had been sipping all night had been stronger than it looked. He found the room swaying under his feet.  
\-------------------------------+--

Magnus had just received an unusual call, from Calyx, of all people. Yelling about how Magnus could "choke on your happily ever after, you pompous bastard". Sighing bitterly, Magnus gave a self depreciating laugh, because of course, this is exactly how he had imagined his happily ever after. What was wrong with this man? What did Alec see in this self absorbed imbecile? Although, perhaps - .

It couldn't be. Had Alec ... 

Striding through the park, Magnus walked towards the direction of the club. He had come to cool off here, because the memories of Alec in his apartment had threatened to overwhelm him, but this had been an interesting developement. He wasn't that naive to think it may be anything more than a lovers quarrell, but that asshole had possibly left Alec in the club alone, when he clearly had been drinking more than usual. A drunk Alec. Alone.  
Swearing Magnus picked up his pace. Rounding each corner and crossing each road recklessly, or maybe Calyx hadnt left Alec and Magnus was hurrying to meet an empty booth with yet more memories of Alec, but Magnus still went, because there was a chance he had. No matter how unlikely, or small, if Alec need help, Magnus would be there for him. He hadn't realised he had begun running, until he came to a stop at the entrance of the club. Breath heaving, eyes wild as he looked around. His panic retreated, as he spotted Alec leaning against the booth they had occupied. Though the man beside him was unrecognisable and as Magnus pushed through the crowd, his suspicion froze to a cold, brittle anger...

The man hadn't been speaking to Alec, but attempting to force a kiss on him.<  
\-------------------------------+--

The assailant's hand was a brand around Alec's waist as he used the other to thrust up Alec's shirt. Grunting, Alec struggled, but the alcohol had a grip as firm as the man's. As he leaned ever closer musty, cigarette coated breath hitting Alec's face, Alec thrashed with all his might. Why had he drank so much? He didn't want this. He didn't want this. He didn't want this.

In the midst of panic, Alec tumbled backwards, as another man seemingly shrouded in shadows pulled his attacker off, before pushing the man to the ground. The newcomer punched his face with a violent ferocity. The man was possessed with rage, his fists a storm. At first Alec thought he had something to do with the bleeding man under him. A past grudge, a debt, or something. Although as Alec inched closer he saw: a flash if glittery hair, a wink of a sapphire stone, a gimpse of leather gloves. It was Magnus.

"Hey!", Alec shouted, " Magnus that's enough. Magnus!", as he somewhat woozily trying to pull Magnus off the bleeding sack of meat underneath him Not that Alec minded if he made it through tonight alive. But the man lay: face bruised and bloody, moaning in pain and Alec was pretty sure, Magnus would not be let off lightly, no matter what the incentive, if caught by authorities - which by the looks of hovering bar keep became a distinctive possibility. Granted Alec's "pulling off" was little more than a feeble, albeit consistent tug. Alec was extremely drunk, a little more than extremely - extremely, extremely drunk. Giving the man one last shove, Magnus pushed off him. Turning to cup the back of Alec's head in his leather clad hands, he crushed Alec against his chest. Alec was too stunned to do anything, this night had been a rush of emotion. His eyes burnt and throat clogged with bile, as he recalled the helplessness of the moments before. Winding his arms around Magnus, he twisted his hands in Magnus's shirt, breathing raggedly. As wretched as this night had been, Alec wanted to remember each second of it - for once he did care. A lot of a lot. Alec was not the only one surprised, Magnus had not known he was capable of such blinding rage, such violence. " You came back?", he whispered voice cracking, slurring. "You came back? I thought - , You came back?" Both knew Alec referred to more than just the club, but that was a conversation for a more sober participant. Cutting through Alec's repetitive ramblings, which had begun to sound more like statements than questions, Magnus held on tighter. "Always.", he whispered, pressing Alec closer . " Always, Alexander, always.". The words became a promise that hung like effervescent lanterns in the air. Enveloping them both in a golden glow.

To anyone passing by, it seemed as if a man stood supporting his drunk friend, surrounded by a crowd of curious on lookers, drunkards and an unconscious body, but really Magnus stood under a blanket of stars, entangled in the arms of someone he had come to love, someone who had, hopefully, come to love him back. 

 

"Maaagnus, you're baack. I love you, you know. Isn't that funny?" Despite the offhand delivery, Magnus's heart tugged in happiness and fondness over Alec's whinny tone. It bordered on accusative, Alec had clearly drunk a lot and it seemed there was no more adrenaline to rebuff the effects. Much to his amusement, Alec seemed to be feeling the said increasing effects.

 

"I know, darling.", he murmured. 

 

"Whatnoiloveyoutoo?", Alec mumbled, face morphing into an exaggerated frown, as he jerked his head from Magnus's shoulder to peer at the Magnus's face.

 

" I do, I just want to say it when you'll remember, that's all."

Reaching up, Alec patted Magnus's hair, " Glittery, I like glitter.", he nodded sagely.  
Magnus stiffled a laugh. How he had gone from semi - decent talk to this in the span of a few minutes, Magnus had no idea, although one thing was sure. It seemed Alec was extremely drunk.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter.

The first thougt that seared though Alec's head was: I'm unbearable cramped. Which, for someone as tall as him was quiet a lot, but he had never found himself entangled in a single seated armchair with another grown anthropoid. Elbows met stomachs met shoulder blades met faces. His legs were entangled painfully with Magnus's. Alec had to abruptly stifle a snort, it seemed like such a Magnus thing to only go through the necessary actions of bringing his drunk friend home, making it to a comfortable place was a secondary concern. A smile played on Alec's stubbled face. It was an unsure thing - like the sun behind a cluster of clouds. All at once he was aware just how close he and Magnus were; space only seemed to exist around them, not in between. Magnus's cheek rested against Alec's collar bone, eyelashes tickling his jaw, each lash the whisper of a song he had forgotten, a song he had missed. Not once, not once had laying with Calyx felt like this. Like, despite the inexorable ache in his neck, the soreness of his twisted limbs, the uncomfortable tingling of his arms - a tingling that usually signaled the prolonged strangulation of his arm - he was reborn a little. Dying a little. In this asphyxiating, second hand armchair, Alec was happy. Joyous, buoyant, exultant really.

Maybe it made him a dreadful human being, one with out remorse, or guilt, but the events of last night had lead to this. Him in Magnus's arms, or Magnus in his, at this point he couldn't tell. All that was clear was: together. Right now they were together. Alec could vaguely recall, the impending break - up, the molester, the fight, the rock hard muscles that sculpted Magnus's back. The always. Ensuing that particular turn of events, he was unsure. Alec's heart skittered. Always, Magnus had ensured always, promised always. Could he have meant ... Surely not. Always. Alec mouthed the word. Always. A prayer. A plea. Always. An ache named longing filled his lungs and pierced the air. Always.  
\-------------------------------------+--

 

Magnus had been awake for quiet a while now. Through slitted eyes he took in the man next to him. From this perspective, he had a tantalising view of Alec's moist, red lips. He stared as they parted and flexed, echoing a muted word. Magnus was hypnotised, therefore he did not realise the same lexis seemed to be in perpetual occurrence. It had to be mid afternoon, the light was a buttery gold pool, as it plunged from the left side of Alec's compact apartment window, bathing Alec in a golden glow. His pale skin effervescent. It lingered along the feet of the chair, weaving through the pile that could have been Alec, or Magnus. Magnus, or Alec. What Magnus wanted was to stay like this a little longer, but his spine held a valid argument. Mostly in the shape of excruciating cramps in his back. Well then. Groaning he lifted his head. 

"Good afternoon, Alexander."

"Afternoon? Oh... well I suppose it is.", affirmed Alec taking in the sun, as if he had not noticed it's prsence, despite waking first. The rumbling cadence of his voice was a drug. Now that Magnus had heard it, he could not not hear it again. The need of it sprung and grabbed him by the throat. Making a mental note, to call early for the college schedule, which he would make sure to lose as soon as he returned home, Magnus pushed himself up. Ignoring the desert occupying his throat. The process was undignified and rather clumsy. A breed of which Magnus liked to avoid. Stiff joints and stiffer limb hauled themselves up, as the duo moved out of the chair. It involved several tries, exasperated laughter, sudden jerks and possibly Magnus sprawled on the floor at one point.

"Remind me never to do that again", brushing off imaginary lint from his jeans, Magnus willed his cheeks to cool.

"Only if you remind me never to overdose on alcohol. My cortex is functioning at below average and my optic nerves exceedingly above. Why is it so bright in here?"

Scoffing, Magnus ran a cavalier hand through hair, "First of all you don't overdose on alcohol, second, optic nerves? Cortex? Really?"

Alec, squinting his eyes, left hand a blockade for the sun, merely looked on unimpressed. The overall effect was ruined by his wince, but who was Magnus to judge. Rumpled, squinting, stubbled morning Alec was something he definitely liked. A lot.

"Let me freshen up, take a hot shower, I'll start up breakfast. You'll feel better, trust me, I know these thing.", he winked in exaggeration.

"You're not going to shower?"

"Of course I am, I'm going first, but I can join you, if you so desperately want.", Magnus replied, eyes twinkling with mischief.

"I'm in too much pain to think of a reply. Hurry." and with out preamble Magnus wove through the living room and slipped into Alec's room, the only one in Alec's one bedroom apartment. Alec wandered off to find aspirin and a glass of water.  
\-------------------------------------+--

 

Magnus emerged a few moments prior, he had donned Alec's flannelled baby blue pajama bottoms and a grey sweater. It was a few sizes too big, it tilted to one side revealing sharp collar bones and was bunched at his elbows unsuccessfully, as Magnus kept pulling it up while worrying a hole near the hem. There was something immensely satisfying about Magnus wearing his clothes.

"Don't you own anything casual with out holes. Homeless is not an aesthetic appeal you know.", frowning Magnus tugged the edge of the sweater in emphasis. His damp hair shook with the movement. Alec stared as a drop of water trembled at the tip of a stray lock, before landing on the bridge of Magnus's cheek. Continuing down until it met his chin and slide over the prominent bump of his Adam's apple, before trailer lower and lower and lower.

"Alec!", huffed Magnus, "Are you even listening?".

"Hmmm? Oh, yah sure. No holes.", Alec intoned distracted. Peeling his eyes away, Alec brushed past Magnus, ruffling his hair. He really needed a shower, a cold one. Magnus's accompanying growl followed him through the door.  
\-------------------------------------+--

 

It was with no small satisfaction Magnus made his way to the kitchen, a smug smirk curling his lips. He had seen the expression Alec had made when he stepped into the living room: eyes unfocused, lips unconsciously parted, breathing imperceptibly shallower. Humming a gaudy, jovial tune Magnus pulled out eggs, peppers and a knife. Now for plan: dazzle Alec with his cooking skills.  
\-------------------------------------+--

 

Forehead laning against the porcelain wall, teeth gritted, hands clenched into fists, Alec hissed in a sigh. No. No. He was not going to do this. It had only been Magnus wearing his clothes. His very old clothes. Damp, clinging old clothes. Clothes which pooled in just the right nooks, clung to just the right - Swearing Alec slammed the faucet higher, hotter. Groaning he concentrated on the scorching rivulets of water running along his spines, the stray drops dripping down his nose, along his chest, across his abdomen. Slowly, so slowly he watched mesmerised, as the drop curled along the v of his pelvise. Flash. It was tanned skin that the drop traced. Flash. Writhing hips. Flash. Burnt gold eyes, glazed. Flash. A soundless breath, that could've "more", or "stop", or "please". Grunting Alec snatched himself. Biting his right arm. Muffling his voice. Clenching his eyes. A non - sensible thought: The door isn't locked. Alec hurtled, rough and fast, off the edge.  
\-------------------------------------+--

 

Refusing to contemplate his actions, Alec mad his way towards the kitchen, following the delectable aroma, as it wound it's fingers through his senses. Alec could not remember the last time he had ate breakfast that wasn't cereal, or hastily toasted bread; it wasn't so much that Alec couldn't cook, more so that he never found the time to. Being an employee of Luke meant salary came in two forms: cash and calzone. Well, food other than calzone too, but that calzone was something else. And before Luke, Alec had lived off microwaved meals, it wasn't so much that he had been too lazy to learn, more so that he was too exhausted to. The days before he settled, before Luke, before he knew that asking for help wasn't charity, those days seemed to run together in a monotonous, fatigued grey. He couldn't tell them apart. Even now.

Walking through the threshold, Alec stood frozen. Of course he knew Magnus had to be cooking, in light of prior evidence, but he had not truly prepared himself for the full effect to hit him. He gaped, slightly dumbfounded. Slinking through the beams of sun, Magnus moved with the grace of a wild cat. All measured movements: casual flips, assured stirs, the muscles in his arms flexed with each gesture. The steps of a dance to the beat only he heard. Alec had known there something exquisite about Magnus, but he hadn't realised until now that while most people seemed to dress according to the weather, the weather seemed to dress according to Magnus. He wore the rays of the sun like an iridescent scarf, sheer on his skin, the glitter of the rain drops on glass like jewels in his eyes, the cerulean blue sky, a perfect offset to his smile: somehow soft and blinding at the same time. This man, this gorgeous man was making Alec breakfast. The surreality of the situation hit Alec with a fist to his lungs, he forgot how to breath. They had had sex, seen each other in throes of passion, but this felt like something fragile: shimmering and light.

"Hey", Alec said, it came out as a whisper, the word containing how he felt. What he wouldn't say.

At his voice Magnus turned, slowly:

At his voice Magnus turned, slowly: " Morning Alexander.", he too whispered, as if he heard, or knew, or felt the thread that was them change to something more. Silently, he scooped to omletes and placed them on the worn table, nicked with use. It was a round, homey thing, able to seat four people. Taking out a two chairs, he occupied one, not touching the food. Alec made his way to the table, feet shushing on the wooden floor. He too left his pate untouched. 

"I... I... ", clearing his throat, Alec tried again, "This looks good.", he finished feebly motioning to the plates. Magnus caught his hand mid - air and for a moment they stilled, hands poised. The entrance to a dance, a duet. Gently, so gently Magnus lowered the pair: one pale,one bronze. He did not removing his hand. Alec's heart stopped, started again. Stopped and started again.  
\-------------------------------------+--

 

Magnus sat, loose and tense. He did not know how these statements were both true, but they were. Alec gazed at their conjoined hands with an expression akin to wonder, as if he couldn't believe how this came to be, however was pleased with the results any way. Magnus's heart was a jittery thing, it floundered inside him, forgetting the rhythm it was meant to keep. Here was Alec, across him. He was here. Alec with his carelessly wind tousled, ebony hair, warm hazel eyes. Eyes that were flecked with emerald and onyx, long lashes: thick and black brushed his sharp cheekbones, as he looked at their intertwined palms and looked and looked and looked.

Looking at his broad shoulders and sturdy hands Magnus was hit with a deep wanting. A needing. He needed this, he didn't know how he was going to function, to move on, if he he didn't have it. Magnus had no idea how he could have it. The thought was sudden, crippling. He couldn't do it, couldn't reach out, string his pulse in the shape of his want, only to have it slashed, brushed aside. He was afraid, afraid like he hadn't been before. Only now did he realise that his emotions were not what they were a week ago, a month ago, a moment ago. He didn't simply like Alec. He burned with it, this nameless emotion, it consumed him, it did not care that running rampant would incinerate Magnus, as well as Alec. It wanted, it wanted, it wanted; so achingly, so desperately.

Alec shifted, holding Magnus's gaze. Carefully, so carefully, he lifted Magnus's hand. Stilling Magnus held his breath, himself. Softly, so softly Alec placed his lips on Magnus's knuckle, warm and searing. Lngering. Magnus's heart stuttered, tumbled: falling, falling, falling, until it sprouted feathers, wings of the purest white, like unblemished snow. It soared: hammering against his ribcage, as Alec brushed his lips over Magnus's skin again and again. Barely a touch, an echo of a kiss, a promise. His eyes were raw and wild and bright.

"I broke up with Calyx.", the admonishon was a question and an answer. The minutes spooled by in the wake of his confession.

Voice hoarse, his breath hitched. Tickling Magnus's skin: "It was a mistake, I didn't understand how I could be with him and feel mundane, feel aloof. I thought - I thought, it was just your personality. Just how everyone who's been with you feels. A disposition of you. And it was. It was you, but it was me too. It was us. My heart sped up when I held his hand, it sped up when we lay together. Sped up when we - we did things. It never once raced though. It didn't gallop at the rumble of his voice, or crumble at the curl of his smile, or shatter at the glimpse of his laugh, or sing at just the mention of his name. It sings Magnus, my heart sings when we're together and I can't let that go. I want to know how many tunes it knows, how many tunes it'll remember. I want to know how many tunes it'll create. If you let me, I would like to know, very much."

Magnus didn't realise he was crying until a drop slashed in the hollow of his neck. How was it, that he had travelled to another country, lived his dream in the gleaming oak hallways, strode out with achievements most his age would never even come across, yet sitting here, in this moment, he truly felt as if he had won something, become something?

"Yes.", he whispered, but a breath of air.

" Yes Alexander, I would like that. I would like that very much.".

Alec's answering smile was a wonder on it's own, tinged with relief, as if Magnus would ever answer any other way. His eyes crinkled and shone, face lined with joy. Clutching his hands tighter, Magnus stood until he reached the other side, as Alec twisted to watch. Tenderly, he tilted Alec's face up, brushing the wayward strands: once, twice. Magnus's fingers grazing Alec's temple, his ear, his jaw, his cheeks his nose, his lips, a cool breeze on the warmth of Alec. Looking straight into Alec's eyes, "Yes.", he whispered, "Yes.", tracing the path his fingers had made with his lips. Magnus left soft, loving brushes, like Alec was a painting he had once painted, a song he had once sung. A dance he had once memorised. All the steps led to this. Magnus pulled away, "I love you.". 

Just this, these words that had been buried in every action, every decision he had made until then. A truth he had glimpsed, but not understood until now.   
Silver lining his eyes, "I do too. Love you, I mean.", Alec said. The words washed over him, enveloping him in a second skin. Tilting his head up, Alec captured Magnus's lips, the kiss achingly sweet. He kissed Magnus, as if Magnus's lips were a flower and he was watering them, persistently, gently, drawing out each touch of their lips as if he could contain them in this moment, in this infinity. He kissed Magnus like he had been asking a question for a very long time and it was on Magnus's lips he found the answer. So Magnus too brushed and probed and licked, because he too had found the answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys,
> 
> I hope you enjoyed that. I certainly did, after all the angst and the sadness, I had to give give them a fluffy scene. I just stuffed it all in there: wearing your boyfriend's clothes, making him breakfast, jerking off. The whole lot
> 
> Plus I always read how they wake up in bed after getting hammered, so this time I wanted to do something different and I know Magnus would have probably wanted the comfort, but he was tired okay, just let the dude be.
> 
> Anyways, leave kudos, comments and critiques. I love to hear from you guys. Next chapter in a week, maybe earlier, if I get my assignments done.  
> ;) <3<3


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update guys, writers block and revision are tangible beasts I must vanquish. Hope you enjoy, leave kudos and comments and thank you all for reading. =) <3 <3

It was the second time today, Alec found himself entangled with Magnus in an uncomfortable chair, this time however he was certain of what he wanted and certain he had obtained it. Somehow, in the midst of all that kissing, Magnus had ended up in Alec's lap, arms draped around his neck and forehead touching. They were an interwoven creature, he and I. Alec wanted nothing more than to feel the press of Magnus's skin. Magnus's breath on his face, as he closed his eyes and smiled. A soft, content thing. As if he was truly happy just to be sitting in a wooden chair in Alec's shabby apartment. Alec was filled with a furious joy, it was present in the brush of Magnus's lashes on his own, the soft fingers tracing patterns in his hair, it was in the warmth of Magnus between his fingers. This was the joy people waged wars for, decimated worlds for, renounced heritages for. It was a quiet, ferocious feeling that hummed under Alec's skin. It was an entity all on it's own.  
Alec eyes slid over Magnus's shoulder, towards the window as the crimson hue of the setting sun filled the room. They had been kissing for hours. Sweetly, carefully, taking their time. They hadn't spoken once and that was fine. They did not have words for this feeling. Alec watched as the night chased the last embers of light, the stars pricking the velvet sky, it was a bruised purple expanse, not quiet night, not quiet day. It was the split second, the pregnant moment when it could have been dawn, or dusk. The moment in which all possibilities existed, all improbabilities existed. It was a moment of the impossible rendered more.  
Alec had not felt so young in a long while.

"I want to stay in this moment forever.", he whispered wistfully.

Magnus pulled himself away, "But if we did, I'd never get a chance to show you off.". Alec breathed a laugh. 

"How awful that I won't have to put up with your territorial bull shit. Simply preposterous."

"Preposterous, Alexander? Is this a word we use in spontaneous conversation?", Magnus eyebrow raised itself to an extraordinary height. "And don't even. I wasn't the one gorging myself on my 'moth bitten sweater' body, was I now?"  
Ignoring the colour staining his cheeks, Alec stared intently at his fingers on Magnus's waist - Magnus's 'moth bitten sweater' covered waist. Thoughts of his earlier excursion were gracing his mind.

"Don't know what you mean.", he murmured, seemingly preoccupied.

Alec felt Magnus open his mouth, "We should eat.", he blurted out. This conversation could only lead to one outcome: Alec's further mortification, so Alec aptly diverted the ship to knew horizons. "It is after all, something my boyfriend made.".

"Boyfriend?", Magnus reiterated.

Suddenly nervous, Alec cursed his foolishness. How could he be so stupid? Just because Magnus felt the same way, didn't mean he wanted to jump into a relationship? Stupid idiotic fool, stupid imbecilic idiotic fool, stupid - .

"Alec.", Magnus cupped his face with both hands, shifting Alec's gaze from the chip in the sink to Magnus's eyes. The were alight. "I like the sound of that.", he whispered, thumbs grazing Alec's cheekbones. They were branding on Alec's already warm skin. He leaned in pecking Alec's lips twice, short and giddy.  
Alec blinked at the firmness of those kisses, he could have this, he would, he did. They realisation came unbidden, a pleasant surprise.  
\-------------------------------+

 

Effervescent. That was the only word Magnus could think to describe what he feeling at this moment. Like the bubbles in a dozen champagne flutes had coalesced and floated into his being. Like his being was dozens of champagne flutes. Magnus held his fork in his mouth and watched as Alec shovelled the cold, damp omlete down his throat, as if it was the last meal he was going to eat, as if it was a warm five star banquet and not just two eggs fried in a pan.  
Alec was something he had wished for and now it had come true. Magnus was thanking every star in the galaxy for this, never mind that he hadn't wished on one since his early childhood. He didn't care. He really didn't. Alec was his. His. His. Goddamn him, if he didn't write sonnets of this moment. Okay, maybe not sonnets, poetry had never been his strong suite, but design a whole line inspirerd by this moment. He would someday, he would.  
\-------------------------------+

 

"So you think you can ignore my calls? Both of you are childish and irresponsible, do you know how worried I was? Calyx won't answer my calls, Luke calls my number, asking of your whereabouts, because you never called in sick and you have never done that Alec. Not once. I am just so -", this steady stream of proclamations was eloquently summarised with a short, high pitched shriek of frustration.

"Izzy, I'm sorry. Time got away from me.", Alec also too eloquently summarised previous events. This was a definite 180 on that front.

Isabel looked ready to burst, "Time got away? Time?", she spluttered, chest heaving.

"Have you forgotten where I found you last time you didn't pick up? How I found you?", these words were ruthlessly constructed, a blade meant to pierce Alec with guilt. They found their mark. 

He looked at Isabel, truly looked. She had come in thundering through his apartment, a whirlwind in her own right and started demanding explanations. Alec had merely stood, taking the brunt of her fury, but as he looked his younger sister over, hazel eyes, a mirror image to his own, stared back. They were wide, strained at the corners, marring Isabel's pale face with lines. Her hair was disheveled as if she had woken up and left in a hurry too profound to warrant her usual vanity. Her clothes were the same ones she had on last night and tennis shoes adorned her feet. Alec kept staring at their incongruous presence. They spoke volumes, told him what she herself could not. Isabel would not have in such a stupor if nothing had warranted it. Isabel who had listened to the news of their grandmother's death and serenely gone to change before getting in the car, while the Lighthood household rung with despair. Because even twelve year old Isabel had known what an armor her clothes provided, what presence and appearance, even when her heart did not reflect it, her appearance did. Unwavering and fierce.

So Alec knew what others didn't, Isabel would never have overlooked such an error, would have never shown this chink in her armor, never looked anything, but in control. She had been afraid. For him.

Striding forward Alec took Isabel's cheeks into his palms, caloused skin against smooth ivory. 

"That will never happen again Izzy. Never. I wouldn't disappear like that. I promised.", the words were cool water on a parched throat. 

Alec saw the exact moment she believed he was safe, it shouldn't have been possible for the panic to linger, when the root of it stood before you. She should have known he was safe, because there he was, but that is the way of these things. It does not seem to matter that the thing which unnerves you has been professed insubstantial, the memory of the blind panic it brings lingered. Like sediments in a slow paced river, it sinks and merges with the bed, only a faster current, a physical presence can extricate it. Alec pressed his hand harder onto her cheeks, gaze steady, as he felt rather than saw the tension leave her body. She suddenly reached for Alec's head, as if to pull him into a hug, eyes exhausted, Alec relaxed. Only to be smacked at the back of his head with considerable vehemence.

The resounding clap was intertwined with a sharp cough that sounded suspiciously like a muffled laugh.

"That is for making me worry.", Isabel admonished, flicking a curl over her shoulder with disdain. Her glittering eyes promised harsh retribution should the offence repeat itself.

"I suppose I deserved that.", Alec grumbled, relieved as the ever present smirk graced her face once again.

"You did, so are you to finally together?", Isabel tossed the statement over her shoulder, as she sauntered towards the kitchen, casting a significant glance at Magnus and Alec's proximity.

Stepping forward, Magnus grabbed Alec's palm. The exchange between the siblings had confused him, he realised how much of Alec he didn't know. They had had different lives, but he was determined to bridge the gap. Alec's palm was warm and dry.

"We are, much to the disappointment of the masses. Alas, Alexander could not resist my charm."  
\-------------------------------+

 

Magnus was more than a little perturbed by the turn of recent events, the melodramatic clash between the Lightwood siblings was out of character. The diectic remarks to an incident that had clearly caused great harm, if the devastation in Alec's eyes was any indication. And he had never known Isabel to lose her composure so thoroughly, it had left even Magnus unstable. Nonetheless, he would question Alec later. Right now he had his own battles to fight. Battles which came in the shape of a blond haired, monochromatic eyed best friend of his current boyfriend. Jace had not stopped shooting suspicious glances at Magnus since he arrived. Still Magnus's joy could not be tamed. Boyfriend, the word was honey on his lips, thick and sweet. He leaned over and ran his fingers down Alec's forearms, before twining their fingers together. How he longed to do this indefinitely.

All four members occupied various seats in Alec's living room. Jace arriving shortly after Isabel's outburst, as she called him while leaning against Alec's sink and chewing toast. The chewing, as one can imagine lead to great confusion on Jace's part and great exasperation on Isabel's. They were however able to come to a sensible course of action: to carry on the conversation when Jace arrived. It suited them both, so now here they were, much to Magnus's amusement, having an unconventional lunch preceding an unconventional afternoon. The lunch consisted of pizza and Chinese - Alec and Magnus and Isabel had wanted Chinese, Jace had ordered pizza in defiance.

Magnus's action was not unnoticed and Alec sighed in exasperation at their keen vigil. It wasn't as if Magnus would maul him, Alec often grew weary of the constant protection.

"What?", he intoned running a hand through his hair.

"Oh, nothing, nothing, just getting nauseated by the disgusting display. Though it is better than the acrid sexual tension.". Jace shuddered exaggeratedly, "That was just scarring."

He only just dodged the cushion Alec threw in response. Alec turned his face into Magnus's neck. The gesture both intimate and comforting. Magnus subtly inhaled, Alec smelled of crisp autumn air and wood smoke. The touch felt exhilarating, domestic. They could do this now. Sit close enough so Magnus felt the warmth seep through Alec, so his skin sung at each point of contact. Thigh to thigh, shoulder to shoulder, hand in hand. They couldn't not touch.

"He does have a point"

"Magnus", Alec groaned, jerking back abruptly, he gave a warning glare. Jace did not need to be addled on.

"I'm just saying darling, it was quiet thick and heavy.", Magnus fluttered his eye lashes coyly. "Wouldn't you agree?"

Wincing, Alec flushed a vivid shade of crimson and Magnus enjoyed the delicious sight without remorse.

"Magnus!"

Magnus merely threw his head back cackling.  
\-------------------------------+

 

Alec could only stare mesmerised. He had been a fool, a fool when he had told Calyx his eyes were mesmerising. It wasn't until now that he truly realised what the word meant. Magnus's neck was thrown back, throat smooth and bare, his dark lashes fluttered in unrestrained flurry, as his chest quaked through a stream of laughter. Ebony locks fell in his face, obscuring crinkled eyes, eyes that gleamed with happiness. Alec was mesmerised, hypnotised, left adrift on a surging tide with no way back. He couldn't bring himself to care. Nothing felt more right, more true than this. How could his father scorn this? How could he have once doubted this? Those doubts had been poison and Alec knew not all poisons had an antidote, but he had found his.

"Come meet Max tomorrow.", Alec said, it was a statement seemingly out of the blue. Isabel and Jace stilled.

A statement because he knew Magnus would not refuse and because he wanted to make it clear to Isabel and Jace how serious he was. Alec would only let those he truly cared for meet Max, it was a declaration of his intentions. Even if Magnus did not know, Alec had just confirmed the depth of his emotions.

"Of course darling.", Magnus smiled ever so softly. He did not know the reason, but he had picked up on the importance of this moment. Still, he had not said yes to gain approval, or to prove himself. He had agreed, because that sweet, almost shy curve of Alec's mouth was worth it's weight in gold. And although, Magnus possessed very little gold. There was seldom he could deny Alexander Lightwood.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max is an adorable seven year old. I just adore kids. <3  
> It's 4:30 in the morning and I still haven't slept. 0-0  
> Enjoy and special thanks to Bhairoojan for the positive energy. I'm trying. ;)

If there was any doubt Magnus had about why Alec had brought him to meet Max, it had vanished now. 

Clearly, this was a test of courage, mettle and determination. A sort of quest to prove his love. Like in the books, Magnus was to travel a wasteland, defeat a dragon, or an equally dangerous creature and find a way to safe his true love and secure their future. Yes. Magnus thought. This would be a fitting quest. He would do it. He would. It would be easy. After all Magnus had made plans to launch a line, survived high school with would be designers. This was nothing. The fashion industry was much tougher. Much.

Oh, who was he kidding. How could one seven year old have this much energy? He'd already trashed the living room at Marys's house, building forts. Forts! Which fort spanned the entire first floor? And why does Marys have so many goddamn pillows and cushions? If only that wasn't enough, Max had refused to nap, so now was not only hyper, but had snuck chocolate pudding from somewhere and worn it rather than eating it. Now Magnus was all about unconventional fashion accessories, but pudding did not make for good material.

"Uncle Magnus!" screeched Max and before Magnus knew what was happening, he began to tilt backwards as thin arms hurled themselves around his neck from the nearby couch. There was only time to think one rational thought: Max. Jerking, he wrapped his arms around Max, cupping his head, tilting to make sure he fell on his back. Stumbling back, Magnus tripped over a stray cushion foot twisting, he slammed on the marble. His head smacking against the cool stone, with a sickening thud, his breath was an evacuee. An unwilling immigrant in his lungs. Out of place and resisting stay.

"Max," he gasped, taking him a while to focus on the wide, tear lined, gray eyes in front of him. "You okay buddy?" Not waiting for an answer, Magnus ran his eyes over the boy. All his limbs were accounted for, brown hair a little tousled and face tear lined, but all in all not a scratch. Breathing a sigh of relief Magnus closed his eyes, willing his thundering heart to quieten. The Lightwood siblings certainly had a one track effect on him. As soon as he thought that, Magnus winced at the poor humour. He may have hit his head harder than he originally ascertained.  
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Uncle Magnus. Don't die. Are you dead? Please don't die." This exclamation was delivered with hiccups, salt water and vigorous shaking of his shoulders. Small, cool hands scrunched the soft material of his green long sleeved shirt. Green like soft moss, rain drenched grass and spring leaves at night. It smelt like Alexander.

It seemed Magnus was not the only one who had got a scare, something about Max's unrestrained sobs tore at Magnus's heart, as if a cruel hand had punctured his skin and was twisting the muscle, wrenching at it.

"Max, baby, listen," sitting up, Magnus slid Max into his lap, hands still curled in the shoulders if his shirt. They were white knuckled and pale, covered in dried chocolate. Hands meant for playing. Innocent hands that knew nothing of true pain and fear and anguish. Looking into the younger boy's face, every feature seemed tiny and delicate. Precious. Magnus had a fierce surge to protect him, steal him, stow him away before he grew and learned of hurt. It had nothing to do do with Max being Alec's brother. It was an impractical, inexplicable urge. Foolishly, he never wanted Max to cry again.

It as then that Magnus truly underood there were more than one type of love, he had felt romantic love before, but never something like. This was pure, like the white of a flame: burning to a point of clarity. Magnus was suddenly, stupidly happy. He had fallen in love with a chocolate covered hellion. How absurd!

Softly, he wrapped his hands around Max's chubby cheeks, "Hey, come on. No worries. I'm alive Max. Positively jovial, little man."

The seven year old's eyebrows furrowed exaggeratedly.

"W - wh - what's jovial Uncle Max?" he sniffed.

"Well - "

"Also, I'm not a little man.", he exclaimed, sounding more affronted than a seven should be capable of.

Delighted, Magnus cracked a smile. "Okay, here's the deal," Magnus said in the very same tone one might use when laying out a definitive in a conference, "You remove the Uncle from my name and I will stop calling you a little man. Deal?"

Max retrieved his hands from Magnus's shoulders, crossing them and seemingly pondering the question with furtive concentration. His lips curled into a frown, eyebrows folded in thought. Raising his tiny eyebrow he confirmed: "Forever?".

"And ever.", Magnus replied. Checking for loopholes, good man. Were all seven year olds so smart? Magnus didn't think so.

"Then I concur.", Max nodded and extended his hand.

Repressing his amusement, Magnus swallowed the miniscule hand in his ring clad one and completed his first official business transaction.

"Do you even know what that means Max?", Magnus asked with a laugh. So he couldn't repress it after all. But Max's attention was already elsewhere, after all the crisis had been averted and to seven year olds adults just weren't that interesting, no matter how much they shone. He was currently rubbing his palms together and watching, mesmerised, as chocolate flakes drifted onto the white marble. They looked like dirty snowflakes.

"Nope. Mommy said it once."

Magnus was definitely in love.

\-------------------------------+

Alec briefly cursed Maryse and her ability to ruin almost any good plan Alec had. Well he was being a little unfair, but not without due cause. 

He had woken up this morning in Magnus's arms, a little excited, a little nervous, a lot in love. Magnus was meeting Max today. The had had breakfast, showered, gotten ready. A clumsy dance of two people unaccustomed to sharing space, elbows bumping, harried searches for clothing, shy foraging of cupboards. It was new and exhilarating. An unsure and fluttering dance. They both knew the steps, but were hesitant to swing too low, or too fast in case they broke something. They were two people who had skipped and rewound and fast forwarded the conventions of a relationship. They had fallen too fast, too strong. Second dates muddled with casual sex stirred with first loves. There was no worn path to follow to ensure they succeeded in this relationship. No road map. No sign posts. Alec liked it. It was as if others had paved a highway on how relationships should and would work, but they had stopped at the head of said highway, pondered and chosen to follow the barely visible dirt road instead. They had chosen not to be two guys in love, but AlecandMagnus in love. No spaces. They were a different entity together.

Then as usual, Maryse had come with her gigantic, expensive hose and splashed murky water all over Alec's plans. He and Magnus were supposed to have taken Max from the door, spent a day at the funfair Max had been talking about, have lunch at some restaurant with high a grease intake and low customer etiquette and Magnus would have loved it, because it was home. It was simple. Loved it, loved Max and loved him.

Instead, Maryse had opened the dark oak double doors, that looked as if they had just been dipped in wax and polish and hung between the frame, exclaiming how delighted she was to have Alec join her for shopping, and to have someone watch over Max.

"Come along now," she had said, ushering Alec from the doorway ignoring his protests. "Yes, I know you don't live here anymore Alec, but you are still my child. I want to spend time with you," Alec was unconvinced, "And Mrs. Nesmith has been going on and on about she hasn't seen you in a while, she's assuming you've left the house on bad terms. She's quiet persistent."

"I have left the house on bad terms." Alec stated unimpressed and slightly disappointed. He knew his mother had a hidden agenda. It was fine. He pretended it didn't sting as much as it did. Maryse simply waved of the distinction, as if saying: "Semantics Alec, it's what they think they know, not what the actuality is that bothers me." A phrase thrown around often enough during his childhood.

"Alec please.", her hand had a gentle grip on Alec's forearm. 

He hated her.

In that moment he hated her, this women who thought other's opinions took precedence over her children's happiness, this deplorable mother who could not say I miss you Alec and found round about ways to spend time with him. He hated her weakness, her utter lack of trying.

He hated that he was going to say yes.

Sighing irritably through his nose, he shook her off, ready to apologise to Magnus, to explain. Instead he was faced with burnt gold eyes, firm and gentle and understanding. "Go," Magnus urged, lifting his palm to run through Alec's hair, down his cheek. Magnus was attuned to Alec's shift in mood, unsure of the cause, but sure of his own reaction.

Turning his face into Magnus's palm, Alec kissed the warm skin, once, lips lingering. There was a time where he would have never even held another boy's eye, let alone Magnus's in his parents presence. That was back when they had seemed towering creatures of control and command. Now he saw them for who they really were: two lonely people, too bitter and stubborn to admit the love they once had was long gone, the choices each of them made had ruined it. Two people who were small in a way he had never seen them before. Perhaps even now he wouldn't have been able to, but leaving home, struggling to live and study he had still found time for Izzy, Have and Max and now Magnus. Not because he was stronger than them, or because he was giving those he loved time regularly. He wasn't, he didn't. But because he had chosen to keep loving them from up close, chosen even when it was hard and unfair and tiring.

They hadn't. His parents were too preoccupied with better things, shinier prospects than grubby children that gave you headaches and did you more damage than a botched business investment.

Letting his eyes shut he pecked Magnus on the lips, immensely exhausted. Max would be disappointed.

"Tell him I'm taking the three of us out to dinner tonight. His choosing."

"Ooh darling, is it a pinkie swear?"

Wiggling his eyebrows Magnus flashed an innocent smile at Alec's confused expression, "What? I need some sort of insurance. All these handsome men making promises with no insurance just seems too risky to me. You know? Protect the youth and all that."

Chuckling, Alec shook his head fondly. A light in his eyes.

"Yes, Bane. Pinky promise."

\-------------------------------+

So when Alec returned to his previous home, what he didn't expect was the floor to be missing under a river of cushions, pillows and something he could only describe as a Japanese style futon. What he also didn't expect was a chocolate covered Max to be sleeping in a fortress of midnight pillows like a prince in a fairy tale, all chocolate curls and rosy cheeks.

He didn't expect to be embraced from behind, arms banding around his chest. Lips twitching up, he leaned back into the warmth radiating off Magnus. A cool touch grazed his neck, travelling to his ear: Magnus's nose.

"I missed you." Alec murmured, letting his eyes close.

"Hmm," Magnus hummed using his lips to trail the invisible track of his nose had left seconds ago. The vibration sending a chill down Alec's spine, making heat pool below his stomach.

"Was Max too much trouble?"

Magnus's tongue began carving lazy circles on Alec's skin.

"Mom's staying overnight with a work friend."

Nipping at the tender flesh of his unmarked throat.

"Did you do much?"

Sliding his hands under the fabric of Alec's shirt, gliding over hot skin.

"Max is right there Magnus I - "

Pinching his nipples, Magnus caused Alec to suck in a harsh breath. 

"Magnus we really shouldn't."

Magnus ground himself onto Alec indolently. Slow!y.

"Shut up."

Pulling away he tugged Alec to a nearby room. The lights were off, it was another one the many living rooms. Alec watched as Magnus made his way to a settee. There was just enough light to see, french windows framed the wall behind it, filtering the room with a gray, misty light. Clouds blanketed the sky. The moon was hiding. The night had become a game.

"I'm tired darling."

Peeling off his grey trousers, Magnus let them pool to his feet. Gazing directly at Alec, he removed his boxers letting them fall similarly. He collapsed down. There was something obscene about the image. Magnus with his semi - naked form on the couch, he hadn't even bothered to step out of his clothing. He looked insolent, derisive, bored even. Arms spread on the back of the burgandy surface of the couch. Alec hands twitched, mouth dried. He needed Magnus. Now, now, now.  
Hands shaking slightly A!ec strode to the shadows of the cabinets, jerking them open to rummage for tissues. Still there.

Throwing them beside Magnus's feet, without preamble Alec dropped to his knees, swallowing Magnus. He licked, sucked, pulled ferociously. Swallowing deeper and faster. Magnus's moans bled around his ears as he sucked harder, reaching down to palm himself, groaning at the sound. Vibrations scuttled though Magnus and he leaned down pressing over Alec's hands roughly.

"You first.", he panted gritting his teeth.

There was something embarrassing about coming in his trousers, something Alec associated with hasty relief as an experienced teenager. Magnus's command to do just that made a deep ache unfurl in Alec.

Magnus guided Alec's hands under his own trousers, pressing lightly to indicate what Alec should do. Rubbing himself faster, Alec sucked harder at Magnus. He was on the edge. Picking up speed he thrust himself into his own hands, w bucking savagely as Magnus whispered in his ear.

"Come on. Hurry up. Don't be selfish Alexander."

Tears leaking from his eyes Alec gagged as he crashed into an orgasm, Magnus clutching his head and thrusting it up and down through the tremors. Seeing Alec's writhing and feeling the moans on himself sent Magnus off the edge grunting and gasping. Head thrown back as Alec swallowed hungrily.

Weary, they both pulled back. Magnus's hand threaded Alec's hair. Alec's cheek on Magnus's thigh. Alec was overcome with exhaustion. He never wanted to get up, letting his eyes flutter close, Alec spared himself a single thought.

The tissues.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know guys. An age. That's how long it's been, but now I have no more school for a while, so I will be posting more often. Hopefully... ;)
> 
> Anyway, ignore the typos and grammatical errors, I still need to edit it. Here you go, sorry for the wait.
> 
> You know the drill; kudos, comments and criticisms please. Enjoy. <3
> 
> *A little warning: This chapter contains homophobia and physical violence.

Ice soaked his bones. His nerves were a frayed circuit under the night sky: empty and starless and cold. Cold. So cold. He couldn't sem to escape it these days. Had stopped wondering, caring if it was the rain, or freezing wind biting his skin, weighing down his very core. All he knew was the cold. He woke up to, slept with it, it was a constant companion, the only companion Alex allowed himself to have. He'd made the mistake of befriending a street rat before. Street rat, how accurate it seemed, for wasn't that what he was now? Scurrying around fearfully, infectious with his despair, alone... Alec was so alone. 

Stumbling along the damp alley, his ragged breathing filling the air, like curled milk, which alerted the predator with it's rancid smell and simultaneously assaulted his nerves. It oozed thick and pungent, dropping down the grey walls; rough enough to slice his chapped skin, which had grown paper thin in the months he was out here. Deserted. No abandoned. He was abandoned. For no crime other than accepting who he was. For no crime other than believing he could be happy. Believing he deserved not to hide like a third stealing away chips of himself until he had become a statue he no longer knew. A statue not to commemorate glory, but one that stood in mockery of his being. 

Alex had to keep moving. Keep moving. Keep moving he told himself. A war song, a death dance. For it was a war Alec was fighting, he fought it each day. Fought it, it seemed, with him on one side of the enemy lines and the world on the other.  
Out here, Alec had begun to learn the rules at least. Dirty as they were, vicious as they were, cruel as were. He couldn't befriend anyone. There was always someone more desperate than he was, smeone who had long left behind the thing called morality. He couldnt sleep in the same place twice, or ones that were 'marked'. Marked by street gangs, or as much of a gang that they could be in a town as small as this. It wasn't like the movies, with fealty and brotherhood and inexplicable, chance encounters with benevolent leaders of gangs who saw a brother, a friend, a son in you, thus sheltering you, rearing you in the ways of those homeless. Of those kin-less. No one really tells you that about homeless people, they always spew sermons and life lessons about those on the streets and how hard it for them without homes, without food, without shelter. And it is. It's a warp of time in between these cobble stoned steps of the alley and the pavement and roads that seem so far away. A different world sharing the veil of this one. Shimmery, superficial they seemed now to Alec, those times, those people. Not at all substantial, unyielding like this veil. The shroud that each of these town dwellers willingly wore, only peaking out, letting their unmarred skin mingle with the tainted air, when they needed. Needed to feel pious, good, holy.

"Look," they whisper, "look lady fair, look gentleman galant. Look I how bestow these mongrels with my pity. Look how it glimmers against their dirt crusted skin, a thing precious against the foulness that is them. Look it is I," they whisper, "I so empathetic who gives it to them so.

Alex hated them.

Hated their superiority.

Hated them for who they reminded him off.

Still, it was not hunger, or hate that seemed to shadow him. A creature lingering in the corner of his vision, it was the loneliness. The loneliness that slowly, so slowly crept into his being, slithering amongst pieces of before, of now, of tomorrow and sank it's venomous gangs into Alex's flesh. He could not seem to rememeber why he had to fight. For whom. Each day he straddled the legde which was irreversible, each day the emptiness below beckoned; a mesmerising lullaby, singing of rest, of piece, if only he stopped struggling. Stopped trying. It lured him closer every moment. Even now, as rain begun to plink down, hesitant, leaisurely; the scent of wet concrete filling his lungs. Musky and intoxicating. Come it seemed to croon, fall it seemed to croon. There was no one. No one to stop Alec, to rub him back. No one. Suddenly, the rain seemed to bring Alec no pleasure. It only drove home the fact that he had no home. No warm bed, no dry clothes to return to. Basking in rainwater, admiring, revering the crispness it bought, the evanescence it left on every surface it pooled on, against, or under. These whimsical thoughts were for a safe Alec, an oblivious Alec. 

He was no longer that person. 

All rain bought now was pneumonia, low visibility and danger. 

Tired, as he was, weary as he was. Today would not be the day he welcomed his demise. So with a grunt, Alec braced his shoulder against the wall cracked, frozen hands, covered with blood of his own fumbling to push himself to standing. Too fast-too fast-too fast-

The world tilted abruptly. Alex jerked his body to keep from meeting the stones intimately. A gasping laugh spluttered from his lips, it was a broken, bleak thing. A laugh one laughs when nothing is really funny at all.

And because he was too occupied gritting his teeth against the wracking of a hunger so acute, a nausea so roiling. He didn't hear the whisper of boots on stone, didn't see the shadow: a darker silhouette in an already dark night. A flash of teeth: so white. Didn't detect a thing, but his own breath that ripped from rattling lungs. Not as the stranger drew back a clenched hand and slammed Alec's face into the brick wall. Again and again and again.

Alec had found, sometimes trouble found you because you staggered into forbidden corners, into the lair it resided in. But most of the time, it found you because it could.

So Alec fell, arms limp, a knee digging, twisting skin on his back. His tattered clothes giving not even the illusion of protection. As the stranger gripped his hair, wrenching his head back, fire scorching his scalp and hissed: "Faggot".  
Hissed, growled, spat in his own voice and the voice of his parents. Hissed it with each smack of Alec's face to the ground, digging it in the gravel and stones, as if the impact wasn't enough. Hissed it long into the night, when all that could be heard was the rain pattering on the ground and wet, smacking sound, almost like the sickening thud of bloodied flesh. And when something crunched, Alec didn't even have the strength to scream.

Still the stranger continued, still Alec lay crumpled. Still he despaired, still the shower of rain continued. Water mingling with blood, dirt and silent tears.  
Alex was so cold. 

\-------------------------------+  
Alec never awoke with a jerk, or a violent thrust, never flailed awake in bed. He just snapped open his eyes, limbs aching and heavy, soul aching and heavy, viciously trembling. Choking the words it's over, it's over, it's over.

Gripping the silken sheets tightly, Alec briefly wondered how he had gotten into bed, then decided he didn't care. Quietly slipping out of bed, Alec braced his feet onto the plush carpet, a foreign souvenir from one holiday, or the other. Perhaps even one where he had gone with his family, when they still were one. Real. He breathed. This is real. The bristles tickling his soles, they seemed to be red, one of the ones in the guest house, almost a dark brown. Like dried blood.

Springing up, Alec strode out of the room. Over. It's over. He told himself. He didn't know my the memory had come haunting him, his dreams. A place which seemed it should be reserved for more dreamlike things. Striding across the moonlit foyer, Alec stepped in puddles of pearl, illuminating a tiled floor: sleek and cool against Alec's clammy skin. A reprieve, as if he bathed himself in each pool as he made his way to the front door. He knew. Of cpurse he knew, it must have been the house, the proximity, the numerous hours spent in his mother's company, pretending. Pretending four years away, as if he was once again the complacent son, to his overbearing mother. It made him sick and angry, so angry. Rage whetting itself into serrated blade which he felt most inclined to turn on himself. Why did he let her walk over him. He had even missed Max's dinner bowing to her whims. Reaching the door, Alec snapped it open, the chill of the night spilling over him.

Cold like- 

No. He would take a walk. He would return to his boyfriend and brother. He would take them to breakfast. Yes. Repeating the words quietly, Alec slipped outside, the door shutting behind him with a quiet snick. They lines a chant in his mind, firmer and firmer the words became. Morphing into a tangible, comforting weight, like the gentle caress of a goddess long gone. And so Alec payed no mind to the lingering demons as he shrugged of their menacing grip and strode into the empty town, glittering softly with sparsely strewn lights. Under a scarcely glittering sky, smattered with stars, their hard gaze upon the man who weaved barefoot through roads and alleyways alike.

\-------------------------------+  
Waking to an empty bed, Magnus concluded, was not his favourite feeling. Even a bed as spectacular as this one, fault her all he did (and he did vigorously) Marys sure knew where to buy her mattresses. These were heaven, like... sleeping on the finest feathers in a kingdom filled with fine feathers. Fine, so he wasn't his most eloquent in the mornings. In fact not even the most logical, for he had the irreconcilable urge to slit it open and see if it was indeed stuffed with feathers. Guessing from the opulence of the rest of the house, he would put good money on it. So maybe...

No. No. Magnus chided himself firmly. He didn't need to provoke Marys, which judging by her frown when Alec kissed him goodbye yesterday would be quiet an easy matter. Welcome almost. On both sides, there was no love lost in his and Marys' relationship. So perhaps he ought to, who was to say his twine bracelet 's jagged stones couldn't accidentally rip it open? Practically leaping out of bed Magnus strode for the bathroom. Damaging property would not be condoned by Alec, so he would not carry out a not -condoned-by-Alec task.

Glimpsing in the what must be tenth goddamn guest room, Magnus still couldn't find Alec. Who need this many guest rooms? Surely Marys and Robert where as unpopular as they seemed. Snickering at his own wit Magnus ambled to the kitchen. Perhaps Alec had somehow made it to the kitchen since the last time he peeked in it. Not that Magnus' life revolved around Alec, although it mostly did, or that he was starting to worry, although he mostly was.

On his way across the foyer, Magnus halted at the door, as a two best knock came from it. The front door. He recognized it. Many would find it strange, almost outlandish, recognizing a knock, but !Magnus did, because after the first crisp knocks, Alex would always accompany a third few beats later, as if he had ascertained two were sufficient, but had to adhere to the three beat classic. Which of you knew Alexander, was a very Alexander thing to do.

"Alexander! I heard you knocking." Magnus smirked wide as he flung open the door, not just open, flung, which if you knew Magnus was a very Magnus thing to do.

Laughter, like a handful of pebbles in a pond sprung from Alec, buoyant for second before it sunk into his face. The joy cacooned under his skin, gleaming in the waters of his being, ever present. He gave !Magnus a crooked smile, reaching to tug the hand not bracing the door and pulling him closer, so they stood; noses touching. They stood breathing each other in.

"Good Morning." Alec grinned.

Magnus only looked into Alec's hazel eyes, his form outlined by the morning sun, the pale blue sky a mere backdrop to the beauty that was Alec. A smile curved !Magnus' lip: a soft, tender thing like a just bloomed petal.b

"I love you."

"Alexander Lightwood, I absolutely love you."

Reaching up, Magnus pressed his lips to Alec's, kissing the bow of his lips, his nose, his cheeks, his chin. Their hands still clapsed and a him radiating from both of them. A hum that one of contentment, of exultance, of love. "How lucky", Alec said, still grinning, "It seems, I too, love you !Magnus Bane." 

Leaning down to flick Magnus' bottom lip, Alec murmured the words against Magnus' skin once more before kissing him. Short and sweet and slow, as if he had all the time in the world to give Magnus. As if he was a thing worth all the time Alec could give. The action jostled to life an orchestra in Magnus' heart, a crescendo. Which continued playing as Alec broke away, flashing an easy, small smile his way, before tugging him through the door.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So people, some fluff this chapter, because they deserve it. Especially before I cause a rift in their relationship. Don't worry. It's not too big. ;)
> 
> Some angst next chapter. Sorry for the short chapter. See you next Friday with some protective Jace.
> 
> Plus I despise Clary, so some pettiness in my part in this chapter. Enjoy!

Alec sat at a cafe, which could only be described as tidy and comfortable, with the soft lighting, wooden decor and worn booths; used but not in need for renovation. The day was hazy, clouds colouring the town gray, the possibility of rain hanging in the air. It may have been classified as 'depressing', however Alec enjoyed the rain, enjoyed this weather that made everything look quaint and serene. Usually. After the flashback, dream, or whatever it could be classified as, time seemed blurred. Alec knew he was at a table, warm in the cafe, with the two people he loved: Magnus and Max, he was never further away from the memories of his fifteenth, and sixteenth year. Half. Half of his sixteenth year. But, the blast of chilled air as each new customer ventured in, caused Alec to flinch: shiver.

Running a hand through his hair, Alex turned from his silent vigil of the drowsy road the cafe sat on, people walking, strolling, running past hurrying from, or to something,or someone. The weeds cracking the pavement, stubborn in their pursuit for light, smattering bright green into the otherwise colourless ground.

Magnus made his way their orders given, through the tables arranged artfully in the centre of the room, scattered with occupants, most smiling at Max's antics. The boy was scampering in front of Magnus, dispersing napkins from a stash in his hand to various tables, a dimpled smile on his face, hazel eyes gleaming with childish glee, hair in disarray. Anyone would know the two were related. Magnus looked at the boy every so often, as if he could get lost in such a place, each time his entire demeanour changed, melting. Even in his forest green leather trousers, storm grey button down, certainly not buttoned up more than the last two buttons, his tan chest on display he should have looked like a sex god, a neantherdal attacking Alex's control. And, well... he still did. Although one with edges smoothed, a faint curl to his lips. The expression stole Alec's breath, it seemed as if Magnus didn't even know he was doing it. This unexpected fondness he had developed for Max was by far the most attractive thing Alec had seen. Unexpected not in it's presence (no one could truly resist Max's charms) but due to the ferocity of which it arose.  
Upon reaching him Magnus slid in kissing Alec: close mouthed, but hard.  
"What was that for?" Alec chuckled intertwining their fingers and bringing them up to kiss Magnus' knuckles in return.

"Do I need a reason to kiss my talented, smart, hot boyfriend Alexander?" Magnus asked, raising a perfectingly plucked brow, the corners of his eyes crinkling with quiet joy.

Ducking his head into their intertwined hands, troubles momentarily brushed aside, sure of his ears burning crimson, Alex had just opened his mouth when - 

"Ewwwwwww. Can you guys stop with the lovey, dovey?" Max proclaimed, eyebrows furrowed in exaggeration, "Jace and Blarey do it too, do all grown up have to act so gross?"

Letting out a surprised laugh Magnus asked bewildered: "Blarey?"

Alec's sigh was one of long suffering, "Max, you have to stop calling her that." Before the youngest Lightwood could list all the reason why he should do the opposite, Alex cut in.

"It doesn't matter if she 'took' Jace from you, you have to be respectful Max. Which is a whole different conversation. One we will be having." 

It was Max's turn to level of sigh of long suffering, the action making him seem adorable, as he rolled his eyes skyward theatrically, lips pouting. Echoing which was a round of muffled snickering. From Magnus.

"Sorry, sorry." he sniggered, lifting his arms in supplication at the glare Alec levelled him. It wasn't Magnus' fault the kid was hilarious, Clary did have a habit to be frequently blaring like an annoying car alarm.

Swallowing his amusement Magnus instead slipped is attention on the young boy who sat arranging the salt packets into some sort of design.

"Max, people who love each other very much like Alexander and I do, are always affectionate and lovey dovey as you put it. You'll see. Don't you have a crush on someone?"

To which Max turned extremely red and Magnus to excitedly and jump into Max"s side of the booth, pestering him to "tell Max, tell me come on, telllllll". Alec just took his head fondly at the pair. His attention snagging on the waitress that arrived at their table. She was a bulky, middle aged lady, with tattoos snaking her arms and neck, both flecked with faint scars alluding to a life of menial labour. Her hair: light blue and tied back from her face in a short, spiky pony tail and Alec may have had no interest in women, being as straight as a rainbow coloured spring, but even he couldn't deny the woman was beautiful. Her face unconventional with large strikingly grey eyes and features just a bit too big, but the coalition was astounding. She could have modeled if she wanted to. Her warm eyes crumpled in pleasure as she took the trio in.

"Y' all are the cutest family around. Are you boyfriends, or husbands?"

To which Magnus piped up: "I'm working on the ring, but for now just boyfriends. You can't have this tall, dark and handsome one I'm afraid."

The lady only clicked her tongue at Magbus' cheeky grin, addressing Alec who was wondering if calling the fire department to contain a fire in his heart, rapidly spreading down his neck and body would be acceptable.

"Watch out for that firecracker." she said, winking over her shoulder as she left.

So that was how Alec spent the rest of his morning: bickering with Magnus and Max, smirking at their antics and just soaking in the pleasure that came with spending time with his family.


End file.
